


The Ugly Duckling

by Icemaidenstory



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bullying, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Whiteboard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:57:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icemaidenstory/pseuds/Icemaidenstory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story in answer to a prompt on Norsekink:</p><p>Prompt:<br/>Let us assume that Thor, being big with golden hair and blue eyes is the Asgard ideal man.</p><p>Now let us assume that Loki is not. He's got the height but not the muscle, his hair is black and what's with the green eyes? Green? Seriously, yuk!</p><p>Anyway, due to everyone on Asgard thinking Loki is actually quite hideous he has never managed to talk anyone into going to bed with him, either as a one night stand or a serious relationship. He tried hard in the beginning but the constant polite declines (and private ridicule that he listened in on) were too embarrassing and hurtful and eventually he just stopped trying.</p><p>Okay, so Loki's got the worst self esteem in history and is convinced he's the ugliest thing ever to walk Asgard. Now he's on Earth and fighting the Avengers.<br/>(Continued in notes)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After yet another attempt to fight them goes badly Loki goes out and gets very drunk at a random bar. He's in the alleyway trying to pee when he hears a voice behind him say:
> 
> "Hey Gorgeous, how many drinks I gotta buy you to get up in that sexy ass."
> 
> Most of Loki is naturally horrified/disgusted/repulsed but there is one thought that overides everything:
> 
> "You think I'm gorgeous?"
> 
> So very drunk Loki goes home with very drunk JimBob and winds up in a relationship with him.
> 
> JimBob:
> 
> Has a beer gut on his beer gut.  
> Smokes, often and indoors.  
> Farts and burps in public/bed.  
> Regularly gets sh*tfaced drunk.  
> Does not want to talk when the Game is on.  
> Wouldn't say no to a victory blowjob when his team wins  
> Wouldn't say no to a sympathy blowjob when his team loses  
> Showers once a day but really should do it twice because he sweats pretty much constantly  
> Thinks McDonalds is for fancy/special occasions  
> Thinks NASCAR f*ckin ROCKS!!!
> 
> Please note: JimBob is not abusive, he knows damn well Loki is out of his league. The worst you can say about him is that can't work out why Loki hasn't left but doesn't care to find out because hey, great ass.
> 
> He calls Loki beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, sexy, pretty (perty) and babe. He also looks at Loki when they have sex, he wants to look at Loki because hey, did ya see the ass? Rest of him's perty damn sexy too.
> 
> Loki for his part was convinced that no one would ever want him, so he's putting up with all kinds of behaviour that repulses him because he genuinely believes JimBob is the best he's going to get and being alone is far worse.
> 
> Bonus:  
> JimBob's friends are all just like him and can't work out how JimBob scored a f*ckin TEN.  
> The Avengers run into them and Loki pretends he's fine with JimBob, can't see what they're talking about, because he's embarrassed to admit that he can't do better (in his mind)  
> JimBob buys Loki presents from Walmart, real fancy presents  
> SUPERBONUS: Despite everything Loki's relationship with JimBob actually does boost his self esteem enough for him to realise he's not the hideous creature he thought he was.

Iron man flew across the length of the building. Loki was just up ahead, admiring the chaos he’d caused below. His was smirking. As a connoisseur of the smirking world, Tony would have rated it a type 3: Smug Bastard and Knows It.

“Hey you ugly bastard, heads up!” He yelled, and fired.

Normally he tried to put a little more effort into his insults, he aimed for style and panache. But they’d been fighting since midday, it was now night-time, and Tony was exhausted. This was his third suit of the fight, he’d depleted the charge in the others.  
He was tired, so sue him.

What was strange was the way Loki reacted, or more importantly, didn’t react. He should have dodged the blast easily, but instead it caught him full on the chest and blew him back off the building. The last thing Tony saw was Loki’s expression. If anything the villain looked… hurt.

It didn’t matter. They won, Loki was vanquished, although the little bugger still managed to escape. Tony collapsed into bed without another thought for the green-clad trickster.

****

Loki managed to save himself from further injury by teleporting away to his apartment/lair. He stood trembling in the centre of the room for a few long minutes, fighting to get his emotions under control. 

He wouldn’t cry he wouldn’t cry he wouldn’t cry he wouldn’t – damn, there were tears on his face. With a frustrated sob Loki hurried to the shower, where he could convince himself that the water wasn’t coming from him. 

****

The first time Loki discovered he was ugly he had barely been able to walk. He and Thor were playing with the nannies in the nursery, while Frigga had her sisters over for tea and gossip. Loki did not know this. All he knew was that he wanted his mother, and she was next door. So he stood on wobbly legs and made his way through while the nannies were distracted by Thor.

He saw his mother sitting on the far side and let out a giggle of delight. The woman she had been talking to turned at the sound, caught sight of him and screamed in horror.

Loki fell backwards at her reaction, landing with a thump onto his bottom. His little face screwed up and fat tears began to fall. Frigga raced over to him and scooped him up, sending a glare at the other woman who, having recovered sufficiently from her shock was frantically apologising for her reaction. Loki didn’t care, he had his mother, and five minutes later he was happily sitting in her arms sucking on a biscuit. 

The memory didn’t fade into the depths of time though. Loki’s mind held on to it and remembered.

****

Loki growled in annoyance at himself as the water thundered down onto his head. He knew he was ugly, he’d always known that his face was the worst possible combination of features. His hair, his eyes, everything! One little insult from a stupid mortal foe should not have thrown him so badly.

Except…

The stupid mortal had been Tony Stark, who as far as Loki could see was a lot like him. Same dark hair, same slim build. But Tony Stark had brown eyes, which were a far nicer colour than Loki’s green, and he had a beard, which Loki had never been able to grow.

So not very alike at all then. The insult had struck far deeper than it should have, but Loki could no longer throw off such things the way he had used to. Not since… no, don’t think about it.

He shook his head, but his thoughts would not be still. With a louder, more savage growl he turned off the water, rubbed a towel quickly over his body and pulled on some casual clothes. There was only one thing that worked when his thoughts would not be silent. He was going to get drunk.

****

When Loki was a child he met some of Thor’s friends. They were the children of the high born and they played lots of different games. Their favourite was ‘slaying the monster’. Loki was eager to join them. He wanted to be a part of this brave band of warriors who slayed the evil beast.

The children stared at him openly when Thor introduced them.

“This is my brother, Loki. He wants to play with us.” He said cheerfully.

After a moment, one of the children spoke.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Loki blinked in surprise. Thor frowned.

“Nothing’s wrong with him, he’s my brother.”

“He looks weird.” The child said. He was the biggest and the leader.

“He’s fine.” Thor said, frowning.

“He’s ugly.” A girl said. She had beautiful blond curls that cascaded down her back.

“Really ugly.” Said another child.

Loki looked at the ground.

“Please?” He said. “I just want to play.”

“Well,” the leader said.

“I know!” Said the girl. “He can be the monster!”

“Yes!” Said the leader, his face lighting up. “He looks just like a monster!”

“I don’t want to be the monster.” Loki said, but his voice was drowned out.

“Good idea, Sif.” Said the leader. “Loki, you can play if you be the monster.”

“But.” Loki protested.

He wanted to be a hero, a warrior, like all the rest. Normally their monsters were trees and statues and things of that nature.

“You can’t play unless you’re the monster.” The leader said.

Reluctantly, Loki nodded.

“Okay. Can I be a hero next time?” He asked.

“Maybe.” The leader said. “Now go to your lair, we’re going to approach.”

Loki turned away and climbed today’s lair. Thor looked uncertain for a minute, but the lure of playing the hero was too much, and he ran to join the others.

Loki played the monster every time. The one time he refused, because it was his birthday and he wanted to play the hero on his birthday, they left him alone to play by himself.

****

Loki made his way to the seedier area of the city and picked a bar at random. He was unlikely to encounter anyone here who would try to arrest him, and there was plenty of alcohol. He sat down at the bar and gave the barman a wad of cash.

“Keep going until I fall off the chair.” He snarled.

The barman put a bottle of whisky in front of him and left him to drink. 

Three bottles later and the pain was just starting to numb.

****

When Loki first discovered the idea of sex he was still far too young to have any of it. But his own hand was a delightful companion and the world was full of beautiful people to admire and wonder about.

He knew that he had limitations. He was not dashing, and certainly not handsome. But he’d seen plenty of people who, if judging on looks alone, would never have the husbands or wives that they did. As far as he could tell, personality counted for a lot.

So he practiced his grace. He worked on his pretty words. He delighted, enchanted and charmed. He made friends with half the young woman of the Asgard court and more than a few of the men.

But when he suggested, quietly, gently, that perhaps they would like to walk with him privately, or maybe he might hold their hand, he was met with a flash of panic and polite, yet hasty refusals.

He told himself that there were plenty of them out there. He just had to work harder. One day he would find someone who could look beyond his outer shell.

By the time he reached his manhood he was starting to despair. He was old enough to start bedding now, his hand no longer provided quite what he was looking for. Thor had been bedding maids for years, and Loki… hadn’t. Not for lack of trying, but nothing he could say, no illusion he could muster, nothing at all in his great arsenal of tricks could entice someone into going to bed with him.

Not long after he mastered his invisibility spell he learned the truth why. The conversations has been painful to overhear. He was lovely, apparently. Sweet, charming, entertaining. They loved having him around and he was such a great listener. But would they bed him? No, oh dear no. His face! Well, it was monstrous! And his body, so slender, not like a real man’s. His hair was so dark and those green eyes! But… a really good friend.

Well that hurt.

Still, the flicker of hope inside of him refused to be stuffed out. That little flame was determined to keep burning. So he couldn’t convince someone to bed him. Father would find a *match* for him. He was the second Prince of Asgard, that was a great asset to his case. The mothers and fathers of the higher classes may not wish their daughters to bed him for fun, but surely a marriage was different. 

He’d be good to them. He’d engage them in pleasant conversation; he’d never get mad or yell. He’d buy them gifts and tell them how pretty they were. He’d speak well to their parents and never complain about having to visit. He’d even wear a mask to bed if that made it easier. He’d be such a good husband that they would fall in love with him and his ugliness would no longer matter.

Bolstered by his thoughts, he began to spy on his father’s meetings in the hope of finding out who his bride would be.

****

Loki needed to pee. A side effect of drinking that could not be avoided. With extremely slurred instructions to the barman not to let anyone take his seat, he slid off the barstool and made his way outside.

The alley was the closest thing the bar had to a toilet. It stank of every other drinker who’d come through. Loki stumbled up to the wall and yanked at the fastenings on his pants. It took him a few goes but he managed to get them down. Then it was just a matter of finding a good staring spot.

He was thus occupied when he heard a voice to his right.

“Hey gorgeous, how many drinks I gotta buy you to get up in that sexy ass?”

Loki turned and found himself looking at a troll.

Well, the midgard equivalent. 

As a reflex he turned to see who the troll was talking to.

There was no one behind him.

He turned back, confused. The troll was inches away from his face.

“Yeah.” It said. “You.”

Loki stared in drunken surprise. Was this some kind of joke? Had Tony Stark realised how much his barb had stung and tracked Loki down to taunt him with a man-troll?

Taking Loki’s silence as a form of consent. The man-troll reached in and clapped a hand on Loki’s naked arse.

“Wanna fuck?” He slurred.

The man-troll was tall, with fat everywhere, although especially on his gut. His breath smelt of stale beer and cigarettes. His face was not attractive and he was missing some teeth.

Loki felt his stomach crawl. This thing was hideous, a beast of some kind. The body odour alone made him want to gag.

“You think I’m gorgeous?” He said.

The man-troll leaned in so close their lips were almost touching.

“Yep.” He said. The grip on Loki’s arse tightened.

Loki didn’t know what to say. No one had *ever* called him that before. And the man-troll appeared to be serious.

Taking Loki’s lack of leaving as permission, the man-troll leaned in the last little way and pressed their lips together.

His first kiss. Loki was having his first kiss. It was… sloppy, and wet, and tasted disgusting and, wait, was that a tongue? Oh, okay, tongue. He stood frozen in shock as the man-troll grabbed the other half of his arse and pulled their bodies together.

Loki wasn’t entirely sure he liked the kiss. But when the man-troll started to pull away he found himself chasing it, suddenly desperate to make it last longer, and maybe get a little better before it was over. Other people could have dozens of kisses to get it right, hundreds even. This kiss might be his only one, it was important to try and make it as good as possible.

The man-troll grunted in response and pressed back into it again. It’s tongue was weird and slimy in Loki’s mouth but he persisted, trying to find the reason why this was such a popular activity. There had to be some kind of magic to it, a magic that he believe had been denied to him.

****

It took a lot of spying, but one day Loki was present for the conversation he had hoped to hear.

“Loki is old enough to marry now, you put his name out like I asked?”

“Yes your Majesty.” Odin’s assistant and advisor said. His face was tense.

Loki leaned forwards in his hiding place. Who was it going to be?

“And?” Odin said.

“No one has put their name forward.” The advisor said hurridly.

“No one?” Odin said incredulously. “He’s the second Prince of Asgard! You mean to say no one wishes for an alliance?”

“I’m afraid not, your Majesty. If he were the crown Prince it would be different, but, they don’t want their daughters to marry… well, I’m sorry to say it your Majesty but, Loki is…”

“I know his looks are not ideal.” Odin said with a slight wince. “But he is a good man.”

“I know, you Majesty. But the parents of Asgard do not want to see their daughters on his arm.” The advisor said gently.

In his hiding spot. Loki swallowed hard. Years of disappointment had made it difficult to shrug off the hurt he felt. Each new pain felt as though it were being added to the ones that came before. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go before he began to cry at the thought of his monstrous appearance and the loneliness it brought him.

Odin was looking at his desk. He looked sad.

“Perhaps he will find his own bride.” The king said sadly.

“Perhaps, he is young yet your Majesty.” The advisor said comfortingly.

There was no one to comfort Loki as he slipped away back to his rooms.

His thoughts for the next few months were not happy ones. He felt starved for contact, Thor would clap him on the shoulder and mother would hug him but the others avoided his skin at all costs. It was as though they were afraid they would catch something from him. But he wasn’t diseased, no Prince of Asgard would be permitted to go around carrying diseases. They treated him as though he were anyway.

In the years that followed, Loki began to wear tighter clothes, the restriction he felt as he moved sort of felt as though someone was hugging him. He practised his training and weight lifting until he was near collapse, desperate to put on muscle that never came. He went on every hunt Thor arranged and took down as many kills as he could. If he could just prove to Asgard that he was a proper warrior, despite his looks, maybe they would stop thinking of him as a monster. 

He never wanted to be a monster.

****

In the alleyway the man-troll finally broke the kiss.

“Fuck yeah.” He said and dove straight back in.

Two kisses. He had two kisses. And two hands on his arse, and fingers poking up against his hole. This man-troll beast wanted to touch him.

It was like a drug. Despite the disgusting nature of the beast Loki couldn’t pull away. This thing *wanted* him. And even after so many centuries, Loki wanted to be wanted.

He stumbled, with his pants around his ankles he lost his balance and fell backwards. For a second he panicked, falling away from the focus of his need. He grabbed the man-troll as he fell and they went down together. The beast landed on top of him which would have seriously injured a mortal, such was the weight of it, but Loki was unharmed and grabbed desperately at the man-troll’s face to kiss him again.

“You ‘k” the beast slobbered against his mouth.

“Yes.” Loki gasped. “Yes.”

“Cool” The beast replied and kissed him hard. Loki let out a noise like a whine. The sort of sound he would never admit to making.

The man-troll’s fingers were really pressing now, and Loki felt a deep thrill of excitement at the thought of them pressing inside. He’d tried it with his own fingers, oh so many times now, but the thought of real sex, with another person was just overwhelming. 

The man-troll reared up away from him. Making Loki gasp with a mixture of abandonment and fear. It couldn’t be over, not yet, he wasn’t ready to stop.

He opened his mouth to beg. To plead for a little more, just a little. But the man-troll was funmbling in his pockets.

“Fuck.” He said. “No lube.”

Loki felt his world freeze. NO! This was not happening, he was finally going to take someone to bed and it was going to be stopped because they had no oil.

“Without.” He gasped, mind whirling with an overwhelming need.

“Fuck no.” The man-troll said. “I’m not doing that.”

“Please.” Loki whispered. “Please, I can take it.”

He wasn’t sure if he could. He’d never had more than his fingers, and well oiled at that.

“No, no fucking fun.” The man-troll slurred.

He was going to leave. Loki looked around at the alley desperately. There was some slime on the ground. He’d landed in some of it. He scooped it up.

“Here!” he practically shouted, and forced the slime into his arse.

“Fuck you’re eager.” The man-troll said as he swayed above where Loki lay.

Loki pressed more inside of himself. His fingers slipped obscenely as he shoved as much as he could into is arse, trying not to think about where it came from or what it was made of.

“Do it.” He gasped as he wriggled, trying to get more in. “Please!”

The man-troll shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay babe” The man-troll grunted. “Why the fuck not?”

He leaned down and grabbed Loki’s pants and shoes. He pulled them off with a few tugs and tossed them aside before grabbing Loki under his knees and pulling his legs up and apart.

Loki’s head was spinning. He was going to have sex. Actual sex. In an alleyway. That stunk of piss. 

Maybe that was where things like him belonged.

The man-troll lined the head of his penis to Loki’s hole and pushed inward with a grunt. Loki gasped at the feeling of being stretched. It was like his fingers, widening him, holding him open. Okay. Not like his fingers. Longer, ooooh longer. And wider too. Definitely wider. Whoa. Oh. Wow. Ah. 

He whimpered under the man-troll as it pressed it’s full length into him. He gave a loud gasp as it’s penis slid past his pleasure spot and settled inside.

“You cool babe?” The man-troll groaned above him. It’s belly was pressing against his stomach, trapping his erection between them.

Loki moaned and sucked in a breath.

“Yes.” He managed. The feelings were so much more intense than he’d ever felt before. No wonder people liked to be bedded.

The man-troll thrust forwards, introducing a whole new set of feelings to the equation. Loki moaned beneath him. He reached his arms up and tried to hold on to the big belly as its owner heaved back and forth.

The rubbing of the belly on his penis was doing a fine job of stimulating him, and there were no words in his considerable vocabulary to describe the feeling of being penetrated.

“Fuck you’re tight.” The man-troll grunted as they moved.

It didn’t take long. They were both drunk and their rhythm was soon fast and loud. Loki was screaming below the beast. Snarling with this longed for and finally obtained pleasure.

He came with a cry, spilling his seed between them. The beast kept heaving for a few more minutes. Loki could feel the hard ground of the alley, smell the stench in the air, the cold wind on his exposed lower half. Then he felt the spurt of heat inside of him. The beast emptying it’s load.

They lay together for a minute. Getting their breath back, finally the man-troll lifted himself off with a grunt.

“Fuck babe that was fucking good.”

Loki raised him head and looked at the man-troll as it rose and pulled it’s pants up. He felt exposed and a little nervous. It had felt so good and now it was over. He didn’t want it to be over.

“Can we do it again?” He asked, embarrassed by the tremble in his voice.

“You wanna come back to my place?” The man-troll asked.

Loki nodded. He wasn’t sure if that meant they were going to do it again but he didn’t want to miss out if it did.

He pulled his pants back on and hurriedly did up his shoes. His hands shook the whole time, as though if he kept the beast waiting it would lose interest and abandon him. 

They stumbled down the street together. The man-troll wrapped his arm around Loki’s waist and squeezed him tightly.

“Fuck you’re beautiful.” He whispered in Loki’s ear.

It was worth the smell just to hear those words. It was the first time Loki had ever had them directed at him, and better yet the man-troll sounded serious.


	2. Chapter 2

It was after a particularly good kill of Loki’s that Thor decided they would go out and celebrate. They trawled the taverns of Asgard, drinking heavily and toasting the results of their latest quest. The Warriors Three sang their praises and even Sif was caught smiling at their antics.

She disappeared before the night was over, pleading her need to sleep. Loki thought that was odd, until Thor dragged him to their final destination. Of course Sif would not wish to visit the whorehouse.

Thor strode in with his usual confidence, and why not? He’d done so before and was greeted with happy smiles and lustful looks. Loki felt his heart beat faster. He’d never done this. He’d thought about it, but with his ugly looks he would need more money than most.

So he’d saved. He got an allowance, which paid for his magic ingredients, new spellbooks, clothes, weapons and armour. It was the magic that got him. It was expensive. He did not have much leftover for drinking and whoring, unlike Thor. But what he did have he had carefully put aside, confident that when he finally had enough the price would be worth it.

Apparently tonight was to be the night. He hoped he had enough.

In the moments of his musings Thor had vanished. So had Fandral. Loki just caught site of the Grim faced Hogun disappearing up the stairs with his arm around a pretty looking girl.

Loki glanced nervously around the room. There were more than a few whores still available. They were beautiful too. This was the best whorehouse in Asgard, Thor and the high born of Asgard would not go to any other.

They weren’t looking at him. In fact, Loki became uncomfortably aware that they were all rather desperately crowding around the next man to walk in. 

Of course they wouldn’t want to bed him, but they were whores, it was their job and his money was good, better than most because he had saved so much more of it. Of course they didn’t know that. Loki frowned, wondering how he could communicate the heaviness of his purse and his willingness to relinquish it all to the women before him.

He could just approach the one he liked the best. But a horrible thought kept him rooted to the spot. ‘What if she turned him down?’ In front of everyone, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t have a whole whorehouse know he’d offered ten times the usual amount and still been rejected.

He made his way to the little bar where Volstagg sat drinking mead.

“No one take your fancy?” The warrior asked.

Loki glanced at him suspiciously, searching for sarcasm, but Volstagg was either serious or he was giving Loki a chance to save face.

“Not what I desire.” He muttered, lying through his teeth. 

Volstagg nodded.

“I’ve never been myself, but the building on the corner is the one with the men in it.” He said and took a big swallow.

Loki sat down and ordered a tankard of mead.

“Maybe another time.” He said.

The next hour was awkward. Loki couldn’t help but glace up occasionally in hope that someone would catch his eye. They never did.

He thought he knew the problem. No one in this room wanted to bed him, which was understandable really. Each of them was hoping someone else would step forward and so no one did. He’d seen it before when a group of men were sent to attack a single foe. 

One of them *might* do it if the others did not find out, especially for his full purse. But that was impossible here. But maybe, just maybe, if he found a street whore, one who did not have a room full of others to know her secrets. Maybe then he could find out what it felt like to know intimacy. Of course the street whores were much less pretty, usually older too, and often marred or carrying diseases.

Still, someone like Loki could not afford to be choosy. He had spells to prevent sickness and the vision he presented them was far worse than their pockmarked faces.

He resolved to go out another night alone and try his plan.

When Thor stumbled happily downstairs he made his way to Loki and clapped him on the shoulder. Loki tried hard not to lean into the touch.

“How was she? Did you enjoy yourself brother?” Thor asked, oblivious to the fact that Loki had been sitting at the bar with Volstagg all this time instead of making merry with a woman in the rooms above.

“Most enjoyable brother, great fun.” Loki lied, behind him Volstagg said nothing. Loki was so grateful it practically hurt.

****

The man-troll lived in an apartment block not far from the bar. It was grimy and the lift lobby stank almost as bad as the alley. He fumbled with his keys at the door, but finally managed to get it open.

Loki walked inside and noted the narrow corridor, the kitchen through an archway to his left and the tiny living room through another to his right. There were two doors at the end of the corridor, both closed.

The man-troll kissed the back of his neck. He assumed it was kissing, possibly it was licking, he wasn’t sure. As long as it hadn’t lost interest he didn’t care.

Loki leaned back against the bulk behind him and let the feel of the warm body soak in. He felt as though he had stepped into another world, where everything he had craved for centuries was being handed to him at once. 

Of course he’d mostly craved the golden people of Asgard, but close enough.

The man-troll lost his footing and Loki found himself pushed to the wooden floor. The man-troll growled in his ear as one hand dug into his waistband and tugged his pants down.

“You’re so fucking hot.” It said. Loki bit his lip and tried to raise his arse to make it easier for the beast to succeed. 

The man-troll yanked his pants down just far enough to access his hole. Thick fingers pressed hard into him, making him buck up in an effort to get more.

“Fuck yeah.” The beast grunted. “Fucking tight. Fucking gorgeous.”

Loki groaned in pleasure at the sound of the words. He wanted to hear more. The man-troll shifted until it pressed down on top of him, lining itself up and thrusting forwards in a sharp motion.

Loki let out a cry in delight as the man-troll’s cock rammed home. Twice. He was doing it twice. Two times. TWO times. It felt even better this time. The man-troll’s seed had made him slick. Their bodies made loud squelching noises as they rocked together.

Loki wondered if that was normal. He’d read book on the subject, but no one had ever mentioned squelching. He also wondered if he’d ever do it in a bed. But maybe the man-trolls didn’t mate in bed. That was alright, the floor was fine.

Loki’s eyes widened as another thought occurred to him. Had they shut the door? He didn’t think so. Clearly man-trolls did not have a problem with mating in the open.

Loki pressed back as hard as he could, pushing his thoughts forcefully out of his mind. He shouldn’t criticise this, he’d never thought to have sex at all and now that he was doing it twice he was being critical? No. If this was how it must be then he would do it. It felt so good he didn’t want to stop.

The man-troll lifted Loki’s hips slightly and reached a paw-like hand beneath him. It grasped Loki’s cock in a firm grip and stroked. The noise Loki made had no description. *How could this feel so good?* He’d convinced himself over the centuries that his own hand could have no superior, after all, only he knew what he truly liked. The man-troll’s hand was touching none of his preferred places and yet the sensation was almost too much. It was the surprise, the not knowing where the hand was going to touch next. Loki’s nerves were on fire.

He exploded down onto the floor with a scream of pleasure, the spasms of his body squeezed tightly down on the man-troll’s cock making him swear loudly.

“Fffffuuuucckk…ffffuuuuccccckkkk…ffffuuuccckkk.” He groaned over and over as he thrust into Loki’s tight heat.

The man-troll thrust harder into Loki’s body, making him slide a few inches forwards across the wooden floor each time. His release was smeared under him in a messy streak.

The man-troll gave a final grunt of pleasure and came inside Loki’s body.

“Fuck babe.” Was all it said before it pulled out of him and lay to one side.

A thick hairy arm was thrown over Loki’s back and a minute later the man-troll began to snore.

Loki glanced back at the door. It was wide open. Thankfully he could see no spectators. With a whisper of magic he sent it swinging closed. Then, feeling strange and a little unsure, he put his head back down against the wood and tried to sleep beneath the man-troll’s arm.

Seven kisses, two ruts and one cuddle.

Wow.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki’s eyes crept open. They were bleary and his head hurt. He’d done something last night. What was it? Something about a troll. On Midgard? Unlikely. What had he…?

Oh. That. Right. 

Loki nervously raised his head and tried to look back at the man-troll behind him. It grunted at the movement and pulled him closer with it’s meaty arm.

Okay then.

Loki rested his head back down against the hard floor. It wasn’t comfortable but the alternative was getting up and he didn’t want to do that yet. He wanted to savour the moment.

The man-troll let out a massive trumpet of noise from between it’s butt cheeks. Loki could swear that the door rattled, and the smell that filled the corridor was something from the pits of hell.

It woke the beast up.

“Wha…?” It said. “Fuck. What the fuck happened last night?”

Loki stayed where he was. A new fear had gripped him. What if the man-troll didn’t want him now that it was sober? What if he turned around only to have it scream and push him away? 

The man-troll landed a paw on Loki’s shoulder and tugged, trying to turn him over. Loki resisted for a second, but it was useless. He couldn’t stay this way forever.

Taking a deep breath and steeling his nerves for the rejection. Loki turned to face it.

“Fuck.” It said. It’s eyes were huge. “How much did you fucking drink?”

Loki flushed, but at least the man-troll hadn’t screamed.

“I lost count.” He said, sitting up.

The man-troll grunted.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” It said. It heaved itself off the floor and disappeared through one of the doors. 

Loki was left sitting on the floor. He glanced around at his surroundings. What was he supposed to do now? Was he meant to leave? Maybe… maybe he could stay?

The water went on in the other room. Loki stood up slowly and tugged his pants back up. He felt awkward and grimy after last night. He’d quite like a shower too. Maybe he was meant to go home and have one. Maybe man-troll people didn’t share things like other people.

Wracked with indecision Loki hung around in the corridor awkwardly until he heard the water turn off. He bit his lip nervously. He wanted to stay, or more correctly, he didn’t want the man-troll to want him to leave.

It reappeared, wearing saggy jeans and a singlet top. It stopped when it saw Loki still standing there.

“I thought you’d be gone.” It said.

Oh. So he was meant to leave. Loki felt the flush come to his face as he felt this rejection pile on top of all the others. At least he got to have one night.

“You don’t have to.” The man-troll said, walking to the kitchen. “I’m putting on the coffee, you wanna shower?”

Loki looked up quickly.

“Yes?” He said tentatively.

The man-troll nodded and led him to the rear door. It contained a messy unmade bed and clothes strewn throughout the room. On the far side there was a bathroom.

“Here.” The man-troll said. It handed Loki a towel. “And you can put this on when you’re done. I’ll stick your clothes in the washer.”

“Thankyou.” Loki said taking the towel and what looked like a bathrobe from the man-troll’s hands.

It left him alone to wash.

****

It felt good to be under the water. Loki scrubbed the filth of the night from his body and did his best to clean out the muck that was left in his arse. In the end he used a whispered spell to send the water up and then out again. Finally, when he felt properly clean he dried off and pulled on the robe. 

It smelt of dust, clearly the man-troll didn’t use it.

Loki carried his clothes back out to the kitchen and peeked in through the archway.

“There you are.” The man-troll said. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Loki.” Loki said as the man-troll took his clothes and shoved them into the washer. It was in the kitchen next to the sink.

“Low-key? Okay then, I’m JimBob.” JimBob said. “You want coffee?”

“Yes please.” Loki said.

“How’d ya take it?”

“Strong.”

“Ha! Nice. You want milk?”

“No thankyou.” Loki said, looking around the cramped room.

JimBob poured the coffee and set it in front of him. He paused for a second and looked down at Loki with narrowed eyes.

“Hey, last night, did you shove slime in your ass?”

Loki flushed a horrible shade of red.

“Yes.” He admitted.

JimBob shrugged.

“Kinky.” He said with a grin and fetched his own coffee.

Loki swallowed deeply, it was instant, but it would do.

JimBob picked up his drink and leaned back against the counter.

“Game’s on today. I’m gonna watch it, you in?”

Loki stared at him in confusion.

“Yes?” He said uncertainly.

“You not into football?” JimBob asked.

“You could explain it to me.” Loki said hopefully.

“Nah, it’s cool. You can talk to the others.”

“What others?” 

There were more man-trolls out there? How many lived in this city?

“Me friends are coming ‘round to watch, they bring their partners, they mostly chat in the kitchen.” JimBob said. He took a drink while Loki turned this information over in his mind. Apparently, JimBob was not afraid if his friends finding out he had laid with Loki. It was unnerving…but nice.

“Okay. I will chat in the kitchen.” Loki said.

JimBob shrugged.

“Cool.” He said.

Loki took another mouthful. As he put the cup down he realised that the robe had slipped, exposing one thigh. He reached down to tug it back when he saw JimBob’s face.

He was looking at Loki’s thigh with a kind of intense look. Not a bad one, no, sort of… interested.

With his heart in his mouth and trembling fingers, Loki gently drew the robe across, exposing more of his leg. JimBob licked his lips. Hardly daring to breathe, Loki pulled it back a little more. His whole thigh was now on display, thin and pale as it was. JimBob was leaning forwards slightly.

Loki found that his heart was pounding, his body responding with a sudden and desperate *want*. But to pull the robe any further was to expose his manhood, surely JimBob did not wish to see such a thing, not Loki’s anyway. But he hadn’t taken his eyes off Loki’s leg.

Gathering his courage, Loki drew the robe back further, slowly exposing his manhood to JimBob’s gaze. With a suddenness that startled him, JimBob looked up straight into Loki’s eyes. His look was hungry.

“Do you want…?” Loki got no further before he was pulled up and into JimBob’s arms. A hard kiss took his breath away, and it was so much better now that JimBob’s breath smelled like fresh coffee instead of stale beer. Loki melted into it, moulding himself against JimBob’s rounded frame.

“Fuck babe, you’re just so fucking gorgeous.” JimBob breathed in his ear. Loki moaned and rubbed himself harder against JimBob’s body, the warmth of which he craved to have inside of him.

“Can we… do you want to…. Ah, please, inside me, please.” Loki gasped as JimBob shoved a hand under the loose robe and fondled what lay beneath.

“Fuck babe, yeah. Right here, fucking awesome.” JimBob growled.

Loki found himself lifted up onto the table. The robe fell open, exposing his whole body. He found he was unconsciously waiting for the objection, the look of revulsion that had so often occurred when someone had come across him in the Asgard bathing chambers unawares.

It didn’t happen. JimBob drank in the sight of him with an eager expression and touched him with firm, pawing hands. A moment later Loki was being kissed again as JimBob’s fingers reached below and squeezed his arse hard.

They continued on like this for several minutes, until JimBob suddenly rose and pushed away.

“Stay there.” He said and dashed off out of the kitchen.

Loki was left lying on the table wondering what he’d done wrong. He’d been trying his best, really, he wasn’t the most experienced but surely JimBob could tell that he was trying? Maybe Loki could get him drunk again, then it wouldn’t matter.

JimBob reappeared with a tube of lube in his hands, he was squeezing out a generous amount. Loki felt himself relax slightly. He’d just gone for some oil. That was all, just oil, which they were going to need. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

Oblivious to Loki’s internal worries, JimBob coated himself liberally with the lube and pressed his slicked up fingers against Loki’s entrance.

“How’s that babe?” He asked, pressing inward.

Loki felt his head fall back as he let out a moan.

“That feels so good.” He said.

JimBob smiled, his smile was crooked, much like the rest of his face. 

“You want it a bit more rough babe?” He asked, rubbing his fingers in and out.

Loki nodded, he was having trouble forming words.

JimBob’s smile became a grin. He shoved two meaty fingers into Loki’s hole and rubbed them roughly back and forth.

Loki screamed in pleasure. It was harder than he had managed by himself and felt utterly wonderful.

“More! Please!” He gasped, drawing his legs up to allow better access. JimBob pressed harder, rotating his fingers in a half circle with each thrust.

“You like it babe? You like it?” He growled. Loki managed to nod but could do little else.

Abruptly the fingers retracted, leaving him empty. But that was only temporary. Loki had only just managed to raise his head in time to see JimBob shift to stand squarely between his legs.

He couldn’t see what was going on, such was the bulk of the man, but he felt it a moment later as JimBob pressed inside.

Real oil made everything better.

Loki’s head fell back down again as JimBob started to thrust. He reached out and gripped the table edges to keep from sliding from the force of it. The table moved instead, screeching its way across the floor as they rocked together. Loki was gasping for air, his body was being pounded into and he could feel JimBob opening him up so wide.

JimBob worked a hand under his bulk and managed to get it around Loki’s cock. Loki let out a choked moan at the feeling that the contact produced. He couldn’t take any more, it was too intense, too much, too strong. More, more, more more moremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoremoreMORE!!!!!!

Loki came hard and breathless, for a second there was black in his vision but he managed to ride the wave of feeling through to the end.

JimBob was still thrusting. Loki held onto the table and rode out the man’s movement until he stiffened and released his seed into Loki’s body in hot, wet spurts.

JimBob stood there for a minute as he got his breath back. Loki was stuck under his bulk as he sucked in great mouthfuls of air.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked carefully.

“Yeah.” JimBob wheezed. “Just need a minute… that was fucking amazing.” 

He pulled out of Loki and stepped back, allowing him to rise.

“Wow babe, just wow.” JimBob said.

Loki slid off the table and smiled shyly.

“You were very good.” He said suddenly, anxious for JimBob to know he was wanted just as much. “You made me feel so...”

He didn’t have the words. Not being used to having sex or even a relationship, Loki had never developed the vocabulary to go with it.

Thankfully, JimBob did not seem to be a man of words.

“Fuck yeah.” He said and headed for the bathroom. “We gotta get cleaned up before me friends get here.”

Loki followed him, a thin trickle of cum slipped from his arse and trailed slowly down his leg as he walked.


	4. Chapter 4

Her name was Sigyn, and she was beautiful. Loki considered her a good friend. She made him laugh and feel happy, even if he was a vile looking thing.

He actually hadn’t meant to spy on her. He *had* been looking to creep up on Freya to discover where she kept her prized illusion summoning scroll, but in one of the corridors along his route he walked in on a private scene. It was about him.

Sigyn sat there with Sif who was looking slightly alarmed.

“You can’t be serious Sigyn, please tell me you are joking. You can’t *like* Loki.”

Loki stopped dead. His heart began to hammer. Without moving an inch his eyes swivelled to the two women sitting on his right.

“But he’s so kind, and funny, and he makes me laugh. I’m happy to see him. I know he’s not the best looking man around but he’s the best *man* around.” Sigyn said.

Sif’s expression upgraded from slightly alarmed to horrified. Loki’s mouth dropped open where he stood.

“Sigyn, no. Think of what you are saying. Do you want to be the bride of the ugliest man in Asgard? Do you want people to turn their faces from you and fear your touch?”

So SIf had noticed that too, Loki thought, and had done nothing. She was very good at doing nothing.

“But I’ll have Loki.” Sigyn said. “If he even likes me.”

Sif snorted in an undignified way. 

“Loki will take you regardless. You won’t have any competition.”

Loki barely felt that sting. Sigyn liked him! She was seriously considering marriage to him! This was unbelievable.

“What about the children?” Sif said suddenly.

Loki winced.

“Children?” Sigyn said.

“Do you want your children to look like him? To face what he faces? Every day of their lives? Do you want to be the mother of monsters?”

Loki frowned. He was not a monster. What did he have to do to convince people that he wasn’t a monster?

Sigyn was being worryingly silent. Loki knew why. He knew *her*. She wanted children, she hoped very much for at least two, maybe more. Loki’s children would not be highly desired if they looked like him.

But what if they looked like her? She was beautiful, surely combining their blood wouldn’t produce anything near as bad as Loki.

The way Odin and Frigga’s blood produced him? There was no guarantee.

“You see my point?” Sif said, leaning in like a confidant, her blond hair cascading forwards.

Sigyn nodded sadly.

“I see.” She said.

Loki slipped away. Freya was no longer important. He knew Sigyn liked him, he just had to work hard to change her mind. What could he offer that would be acceptable? Maybe, maybe she could lie with someone else for the children. Loki would raise them, he would be a good father, a kind father. They would be the prettiest children in the whole of Asgard. It didn’t matter that they wouldn’t be his, he could live with that.

He could live with Sigyn.

****

The next day he sought her out. She was happy to see him, he could tell. He gave her a fine rose from Frigga’s garden and told her a funny story about Thor and some elves. Then, with nerves dancing madly in his stomach, he drew her away from the crowds and sat with her in a window seat.

“Lady Sigyn.” He said nervously. “I was wondering if you would like to go riding tomorrow, together, just the two of us.”

She coloured and looked down. Loki took a calming breath. If she had settled against him for sure she would already be making her excuses.

“Pardon my forwardness, but I think you are lovely, and kind, and sweet and the thought of you makes me dizzy with happiness. I would very much like to court you.” He said.

She looked up at him, he could see the interest in her eyes. Please. He thought. Please say yes. I *will* make you happy.

“I…” she started, then her eyes darted to a spot behind him.

Loki turned to see Sif standing there, openly watching.

“Is everything alright Sigyn?” She asked.

“I’m sorry Loki.” Sigyn said sadly. “I can’t, I just… I can’t.”

He reached forward and grabbed her hand.

“Please.” He whispered. “Please, if it’s the children, you don’t have to have mine, I won’t make you. I’ll raise them as my own, I swear.”

Her eyes widened and she pulled her hand back.

“I have to go, I’m sorry Loki.” She said and walked back to the crowd with Sif.

Loki swallowed hard but this time was once too many. The hurt he held inside was too big to hold. Hot tears trickled from his eyes and down his cheeks as sat alone. Always alone. Inside of him, something broke. He wanted them to hurt as he was hurting, he wanted to lash out and strike.

That night Sif’s hair fell out. All of it, every strand. Loki didn’t even try to hide that it was him. He was glad she was screaming, let her be ugly for a change. She thought that it was hard fighting to be a warrior? A pretty girl will always be allowed her fancies, even if she is serious. Let her hurt.

“Undo it.” Odin ordered flatly.

“I can’t.” Loki replied. He couldn’t either, that’s what made this more than a prank, that’s what showed he was serious.

“Loki, how could you do something like this? We raised you better than that.” Frigga said.

Loki shrugged.

“Loki!” She snapped. “Don’t’ you dare be so flippant, what you have done is monstrous.”

That brought him up short. He had wanted her to know what it felt like to be him, he hadn’t meant to be a monster.

“I can’t fix it.” He said. That didn’t seem so clever now. “Her hair will grow again but it will be black.” Like mine, he didn’t add.

“Loki, we are disappointed in you. You must find a way to make it up to her.” Odin said.

Loki nodded, looking at the floor. They didn’t understand the damage she’d done to him, the hurt that he now carried inside. He could not stop weeping whenever he was alone. He had finally reached the point where he could no longer hold it inside. But he would make it up to her, if only to prove that he wasn’t a monster.

Sigyn ended up marrying Theoric, a bright, strong warrior with golden hair and plenty of muscle. Loki didn’t leave his rooms for weeks after the wedding. But by then they had not spoken in so long those who did notice his absence put it down to a new spell he was working on.

Loki gave Sif a splendid golden wig that looked even better than her old hair. She refused to wear it, stating bluntly that she would be a fool to trust anything Loki gave her.

It was this act that changed Loki’s reputation from that of a harmless mischief maker to that of a wicked trickster. He would never forgive her.

****

Loki sat in the kitchen surrounded by ‘partners’. JimBob’s friends were loud, crude, smoked like chimneys and drank like fish. The partners nearly always did likewise. There were three women and two men among the partners and they all talked at once.

They had been quite nice when JimBob introduced them. One or two of them had shaken his hand. The others smiled and one woman with bright orange hair and skin to match had given him a hug and made a kissing sound in each of his ears. Her name was Cheryl and she was the loudest of the group. She had also apparently decided to make getting to know Loki her mission.

“So what do you do, darlin’” she drawled while simultaneously sucking on a cigarette.

“I’m self-employed.” Loki said in a kind of daze.

“I know you.” Said one of the men, Kane, he said his name was. “You’re that horned dude from the T.V.”

Loki felt a momentary panic, mortals had a real thing about supporting heroes, I they realised he was a villain they would cast him out, turn JimBob away from him, leave him alone – 

“Hey JimBob! Your date tried to kill Iron Man!” Kane yelled into the living room.

“What?!” JimBob yelled back.

“Loki! He tried to kill Iron Man last year, we saw it on the T.V”

“No shit?”

JimBob came into the room.

“Halftime.” He said as he reached into the fridge for more beer. “You really tried to kill the Iron Man?” He asked Loki.

“Not kill,” Loki said, “Subjugate.”

JimBob looked confused.

“Make him my slave.” Loki admitted. 

It had been nice while it lasted.

“Cool.” JimBob said.

Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I fucking hate Iron Man.” JimBob said. “Fucking pisser flying around like he owns the city just because he’s got money. I could be Iron Man if I had money.”

Loki held his tongue on that point. But they weren’t kicking him out.

Over the next few hours Loki discovered that:  
1) Iron Man was a fucking asshole  
2) The Black Widow should smile more and do something with that hair, don’t ya think so darlin’?  
3) The Hulk was a big crybaby who should just suck it up  
4) Thor would be so much happier if he just came out  
5) Captain ‘Merica could do with a few tattoos  
6) Who the fuck is Hawkeye?

It was bizarre. His whole life Loki had never fit in and yet here were these people who welcomed him with open arms and more importantly, open minds. They seemed to think his trying to take down the government and rule the world was a fine ambition.

That night after they’d all gone home, JimBob asked him if he wanted to stay.

Which is how Loki finally did it in a bed.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was Monday, and JimBob had to work.

“I work in construction.” He said when Loki asked. He pulled on his sweater and searched for his keys.

“You gonna be here later?” He asked.

Loki poured him a coffee. JimBob gave him a lopsided grin and took a mouthful.

“Yes?” Loki said. His heart was pounding again. He had no idea how relationships were supposed to work, let alone one involving a mortal.

JimBob nodded.

“Cool, I’m home at six, meet you in the lobby okay?”

“Okay?” Loki asked, bewildered.

JimBob finished his coffee and set the cup down in the sink.

“If you’re gonna hang around I’ll get you a key.” He said. “See you later.”

He pulled Loki close and kissed him hard on the mouth. Loki pushed back, and was disappointed when JimBob pulled away. He watched as JimBob walked out of the door.

Internally he went over his count list:

Nineteen kisses, four ruts and two cuddles. It seemed like such a lot. 

He spent some time just wandering around JimBob’s apartment. It was small and grubby and stank like old cigarettes. He opened the windows, but that did nothing. 

Loki frowned. He washed the dishes, cleaned the sink and went to try and find cleaning tools.

There weren’t any. Frustrated, Loki whispered one of the cleaning spells he’d learned for when he wanted to be alone for weeks on end. The dirt and grime on the floor lifted upward until it hovered a few inches above it. With a wave of his hand he moved the dirt together until it formed a solid ball about the size of a helmet.

That was a lot of dirt. Loki floated it to the window and let in fall.

There was an almighty bang as it hit the ground below. Loki ignored it. He was focussing his attention on the walls. Another spell pulled the dirt off them, revealing that the brown colour was in fact light green paint. That too went out of the window.

Pleased with the cleaner environment, Loki closed the windows, made sure the door was locked and teleported back to his own apartment.

An hour later he was panicking. What if JimBob liked the dirt? What if that’s why it was there? It must have taken years to get it to that state, he would be angry at Loki for ruining it. He’d reject him! No, no! 

Loki teleported himself back to JimBob’s apartment in terror. He had to fix this! But how? There were dozens of spells to remove dirt, none that he knew of to put it back. He looked around in horror at each room. Clean, all clean. He’d ruined everything.

It was with a heavy heart Loki waited in the lobby for JimBob to appear at six. His head hung down in defeat. The only thing that made him come here was the tiniest flicker of hope that JimBob would forgive him.

Maybe he could take up smoking? They could rebuild the stains twice as fast.

JimBob gave him a grin when he appeared and drew Loki into a hard kiss. He smelt of sweat and his breath was bad again.

Loki kissed him back hard, desperate to remember this last touch before it all collapsed.

He couldn’t say anything as they rode the elevator upwards. JimBob seemed impervious to pretty words anyway.

JimBob walked into the apartment and stopped dead. He turned around and stared at Loki with wide eyes.

“You do this babe?” He asked.

“Yes.” Loki said.

“Fucking awesome! I didn’t know the walls were green.” JimBob said as he walked through to the kitchen.

“What’d you use on the carpet?”

“Um, an old cleaning trick.” Loki said as he followed. “You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be angry? I bring home a hot man and he cleans my fucking place.” JimBob said, setting his bag down.

“Hot?” Loki asked quietly.

JimBob clearly had low standards, but right now Loki didn’t care. Someone thought he was hot.

JimBob grinned at him.

“Yeah, come here hot stuff, lemme have some of that.”

Loki pressed himself against JimBob’s body eagerly. He didn’t care about the smell or the breath. It wasn’t over, he hadn’t ruined it. He could have more.

****

After the disaster of Sigyn and Sif’s hair, Loki withdrew from the Asgard halls and feasts more and more. He went riding instead. It was a solitary occupation, but at least his horse, Darkwind, was always please to see him.

He spoiled her. Brought her apples and gave her extra oats. He would groom her even on days when he hadn’t taken her out. Without someone to be with, Loki lavished all his affection onto her. He told himself that it was enough to get by with.

When she was old enough to breed he began searching the realm for a stallion worthy of her. A great steed to sire her children. Only the best would do for Darkwind.

He knew he’d found it when he saw Svaðilfari. He was a fine horse, a strong horse. Loki paid handsomely for the privilege of his seed for Darkwind.

He doted on the mare as the child grew within her. He read all the books that he could find and worried constantly that something might be wrong. There were jokes floating around the palace that Loki was acting more like an expectant father than a horse breeder. He ignored them.

The foal had eight legs. Loki was horrified. How could it have eight legs? Why did it have eight legs? Why did everything he touched twist and mutate like this? One mare, one stallion. It shouldn’t have been so hard to get one normal foal.

He named it Sleipnir and tried to ignore the whispers that went on around him.

They were not kind. After all, how did two normal horses make such a thing? Perhaps two horses were not involved at all, perhaps *Loki* fathered Sleipnir. After all, he clearly couldn’t entice a woman to his bed. But… wasn’t Loki so very anxious the whole time Darkwind was expecting the foal? Far too anxious for a mere breeder, even a first time one. If the child were his that would explain it. But no, maybe, maybe Loki had not sought out the finest stallion in all of Asgard just for his horse. Maybe Loki sought it out for *himself*. That would definitely explain all the books he read, all the advice he sought. Loki had birthed Sleipnir in private! Of course it is believable, he has magic doesn’t he? Women have magic, so he must have a cunt under those tight clothes. A freak of nature indeed.

Loki was the only one who noticed that Sleipnir’s extra legs made him twice as fast as all the other foals his age, and he could run twice as long as well before he tired. In fact, Sleipnir’s differences only made him better than the others.

Loki wished he could say the same for himself.

He gifted Sleipnir to Odin, if the Allfather accepted the gift then the others would not speak out against it. Thankfully, Odin saw the potential in Sleipnir’s speed and stamina. He thanked Loki publically for the gift.

All that did among the court was cause whispers about how Loki had birthed a son and thrown him away without a feeling.

Loki couldn’t win. Instead he rode Darkwind every day, for as long as he could. He explored the high places and charged at great speed through the fields. She was his one great joy in life.

Until the day Odin summoned him.

“I’ve heard rumours.” The King said.

Loki frowned. “Rumours?” He asked.

“That your attachment to you horse is more than it should be.”

Loki opened his mouth to protest but Odin held up a hand.

“I do not believe them.” He said. “But the people will not stop muttering, I think it would be best if you stopped riding so often, and when you do, take one of the palace horses.”

“What about Darkwind?” Loki asked.

“She’ll be bred. She’s the right age and we might get more like Sleipnir.” Odin said. “Take care of your actions Loki, royalty is always watched and you need to be more careful. A reputation is a hard thing to undo.”

“Yes Father.” Loki said. He felt numb.

He went straight to the stables. Darkwind was still there, standing in her stall. She gave a snort of greeting and nosed his hand to see if he had an apple in it.

Loki was crying. He could feel the tears on his cheeks. It wasn’t fair! He’d done nothing wrong! Was every avenue of affection to be closed to him? Could he not even have a pet?! He rubbed Darkwind’s nose slowly up and down, silently wishing for a miracle to undo Odin’s decision.

“At least you’ll have plenty of children.” He whispered to the mare. “At least you can have a family of your own.”

For a single wild moment he thought about putting on her saddle and riding away from the palace, away from Asgard. But that flicker of hope inside of him kept him where he was. It hurt to say goodbye to Darkwind, but perhaps he could revisit his plan to try the street whores. Perhaps his isolation from affection was because he had not yet sought out someone on his level. Besides, there were perks to being a prince, and as he wasn’t madly in love with his horse, riding away with her would just cause the court to think otherwise. Father would be angry, Mother would be upset. No, he’d stay, and find another way.

Maybe a dog this time.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been six weeks since anyone had heard from Loki. It was too much to hope for that the trickster was truly gone, although Thor’s moping indicated that he was considering the possibility. Tony had a different theory.

The look on Loki’s face had come back to him at odd hours of the night. It was as if he’d hit some kind of paralysing switch. Well, if that was the case then it could be exploited. He knew Loki was adopted. He assumed the ‘bastard’ part of the insult had had an effect. Tony had resolved to test his theory out as soon as possible. Loki’s absence actually made him a little annoyed.

“He’s planning something.” Tony said. “Something big, like last year when he made everyone in New York vanish into an alternate dimension. He’s never gone for long unless he’s planning something.”

“He’ll show up when he shows up. He hasn’t been spotted at any of our monitored sites. Right now all we can do is wait.” Black Widow said. “But don’t worry, when he shows up again we *will* take him down.”

****

Loki was plotting something big. But unlike his previous efforts he was no longer working through the evenings. He had better things to do.

JimBob would come home each evening and cook dinner. He mainly did slabs of meat, with fries. Loki wasn’t sure what he would do if he ever encountered a vegetable, but eating it was unlikely to make the top ten list.

So Loki stocked JimBob’s fridge with better cuts of meat. He cleaned the bathroom and washed the sheets. Oh, and plotted world domination. 

But his evenings were spent cuddled up to JimBob on the couch while they watched T.V. At least, until JimBob’s hand wandered down Loki’s flank to stroke his bottom. Half the time they never made it to the bed.

Two hundred and fifty three kisses, forty five ruts and one hundred and twenty four cuddles. Loki could hardly believe it.

He liked sex. Now that he’d had a sufficient amount, Loki felt confident in saying that he liked it. He thought back on all those ‘campfire conversations’ that invariably led to Fandral’s latest conquest and how good it felt to rut. Loki had always remained silent when the talk travelled in that direction. He’d been afraid that if he tried to lie he would be caught out simply through lack of experience. The best lies always held some truth and he had none.

Now he would like to go back to those days and join in, if only a little. No matter, he held only wisps of feeling for Asgard these days. He should have come to Midgard centuries ago.

His new plan was to use an ancient artefact, currently in the collection of a rich businessman who didn’t know what he’d got, to increase his power a thousand fold. He could spend the power any way he wished. At present he was deciding how best to use it as the power he obtained was finite.

One quarter to devastate a large area and force humanity to its knees. One quarter to do it again to prove he wasn’t bluffing. Then hopefully he could bluff his victory from then on, but with one half still in reserve, just in case.

****

That Monday, Loki stood on top of a tall building that was still under construction. He grinned at the chaos around him. The artefact was working, he was already vastly more powerful than before.

Iron Man showed up. He flew around the top of the building taking pot shots at where Loki stood.

Loki deflected them easily. He didn’t need much power to hold off the annoying Tony Stark.

He hadn’t forgotten what had happened last time either. Loki sneered as Iron Man swooped in again.

“Hey there you bastard.” Iron Man said.

Loki ignored him. The power was growing.

Inside his suit Tony frowned. He knew what he’d seen. But just ‘bastard’ wasn’t doing a damn thing. Unless? No, really? The only other word he’d used was *ugly*. No way. No one responded to ugly like that. It was just a word, a baby insult, helplessly attached to the grown up insults to make a lovely insult family. It didn’t work on its own.

Still, bastard wasn’t doing squat.

“Hey Loki.” Iron Man called out. “I can see why your real dad left you to die! He didn’t want something that hideous making him look bad!”

The explosion took out the whole building. Iron Man was crushed under tons of construction material. If it weren’t for the suit he would have died. As it was, five broken ribs were not going to heal overnight.

Loki had disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

When JimBob walked in the door that night he took one look at Loki and growled under his breath.

“What the fuck do you think you were doing!” He snarled.

Loki took a step back, surprised.

“I…” He started.

“You blew up the damn worksite! The whole damn thing came down like an avalanche!”

“I didn’t know it was your worksite.” Loki snapped. He was hurting, more than he thought he would. “And I certainly didn’t mean to put you out of a job!”

“What are you talking about?” JimBob said. “Everyone’s got villain insurance these days. The client’ll just get us to start again.”

“Why are you mad then?” Loki asked defensively.

JimBob stared at him like he’d grown a second head. A part of Loki wanted to pat his own neck just to make sure he hadn’t, he wasn’t the best at looking normal.

“I thought you fucking *died*.” He said. “You blew up the whole damn thing! I saw it on the T.V down the street where we evacuated to!”

He stepped forward and pulled Loki into a hard, bone crushing hug.

“Don’t fucking scare me babe.” He said in Loki’s ear. “I was fucking frantic.”

Loki tentatively put his arms around JimBob’s bulk.

“I’m a lot tougher than I look.” He said.

“What you go and blow it up for anyway?” JimBob said. “It looked fucking cool but it’s just a building. We got fucking heaps of those.”

Loki pressed closer.

“It wasn’t my intention. I was going to subjugate the city, but Iron Man flew down and – “

He couldn’t finish the sentence. JimBob pulled back and stared hard at him.

“You crying babe? What’d he fucking do?”

“He said.” Loki took a deep breath. “He said my real father left me to die because I was ugly.”

JimBob looked surprised.

“That all? Babe, you’re the pertiest thing in New York.”

One corner of Loki’s mouth lifted in a snarl, anything was better than the tears running down his cheeks.

“Don’t patronise me.” He snapped. “I know what I am, I know what I look like! You are a terrible liar.”

JimBob reached out and pulled Loki back into another hug.

“I ain’t lying. You are a fucking beautiful man, Low-key.” He wrapped both arms tightly around Loki’s body and held him firmly. “Iron Man is a fucking asshole, if I ever see him I’ll fucking hit him.”

Loki brought his arms up and hugged JimBob back. Was this their first fight? Were they done? JimBob shouldn’t lie like that, but it was nice to hear it, for a time Loki could pretend it was true.

****

Loki watched the whore from a distance. She was an older woman, with ratty hair and brown teeth. His grip on his purse tightened. She could have it all, he resolved, if she would take him.

No buxom smiling maidens for him. He would take his chances with this woman.

He snuck closer, keeping a watchful eye on the street for signs of other people. He had no desire for any part of this transaction to be witnessed.

He had tried the prettier ones already. If they had the chance to see him approach they were down an alley and gone in seconds before he could even make his offer. The addition of a hooded cloak at least allowed him to approach them.

He had been refused regardless. No matter how eager their smiles at the sight of his purse they always backed away in horror when he peeked out nervously from behind his hood. Women and men both had paled and hurried away. 

It had happened so often he was used to the reaction by now. But surely a woman of such wretched circumstances would be less discerning. He hoped so, he really, really, hoped so. He was already in the lower city, the only place left to him was the slum, filled to capacity with criminals of all kinds.

Loki already walked a fine line between prince and monster, he didn't want to make it worse by being spotted in such a place.

He approached carefully. She shot him a smile.

"How's about it love?" She called out.

Loki darted closer.

"I'm not attractive." He said from under his hood. "I am twisted, truly ugly. But if you let me have you, you can have all that is in my purse."

He showed her the money. He saw the gleam in her eye, the hint of greed.

'Please' he thought, 'Please be hungry enough for my coin.'

In his mind that treacherous flame of hope burned the tiniest bit hotter. His skin was tingling with the thought of being touched, stroked, petted...

Nervously he pulled back the hood and allowed her to see him.

It wasn't enough. Her face changed to one of horror and she let out a small scream. Loki pulled the hood back up and ran. He had no desire to stay and hear her terror.

He was crying when he reached him rooms. She had been the last, the most wretched whore before the slum. He had truly hoped that she at least would be able to stand him. No, he would have to step into the dark underbelly of Asgard if he wanted to find someone willing to touch him.

He pulled off the cloak, extinguished the candles with a wave of his hand and undressed in the dark. He always did that these days, it prevented him from accidently catching sight of himself in the mirror.

Under the covers, he reached a hand down and stroked himself lightly, but his heart wasn't in it. He wanted to feel warm arms around him. He wanted gentle touches and soft caresses. He wanted this hollow feeling in his chest to go away and stop hurting him.

In the dark, Loki gave way to his tears, and for a long time afterwards his rooms echoed with the sound of his misery.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Friday night, and Loki was at a party.

It was being hosted by Bubba and Kane, as they were one of only two couples with a backyard. There was meat charring on a fire pit and BBQ, beer everywhere, music pounding so loud that making out the tune of said music was actually impossible, and a lot of people Loki didn't know wearing singlets in the middle of the night.

Loki was dressed in a T-Shirt and jeans and he still felt overdressed.

JimBob was wasted. He'd been drinking since the party started and was sitting surrounded by others all in the same state.

Loki wasn't entirely sure that he enjoyed this type of party. But it had the advantage of not having anything to do with Thor or the celebration of his accomplishments. It was a party because 'why the fuck not?' was apparently a really good reason.

Loki finished his beer and went to fetch another. There was something odd about the people at this party. He wasn't entirely sure what it was.

They came from all over the country, and a few even came from other countries. They were partnered together in the most bizarre combinations, which nobody else seemed to find odd. Loki picked up a beer for JimBob as well and made his way back to where his boyfriend sat.

He had a boyfriend. Him. Loki. He had a *boyfriend*. The thought made him tingle.

He handed over the beer and received an arm around his waist in return. JimBob pulled him close and kissed him sloppily. 

"Thanks babe." He said. At least Loki thought he said it, he couldn't hear anything over the music.

The charred meat was done. Loki could tell by the gathering crowd. He slipped form JimBob's arms and went to fetch them both something to eat.

It wasn't bad. The great roasts of Asgard were always perfectly done, as you'd expect from cooks who had centuries to perfect their art. Meat hunted and eaten on a quest was tougher and had a stronger, usually less pleasant flavour. This was different again. It tasted of charcoal and flesh and beer. The hamburgers served between slices of bread were worth having seconds, especially with tomato sauce and cooked onions.

JimBob scoffed his food hungrily, as did their circle of friends. Loki was in the middle of taking a huge bite of his hamburger when he finally realised what was so odd about these people.

They didn't flinch at the sight of him. He had become so used to new people shying away, jumping in fear or even giving little screams that the absence of it was making him feel weird.

They welcomed him, they accepted him. Not one of them had said or even hinted anything about his appearance.

Surrounded by the stink of beer and charred meat, with loud music shaking the ground he sat on, Loki realised that he had finally found his level. He wasn't alone anymore.

The thought was so strong he had to swallow the rest of his beer in a great hurry to force down the tightness in his throat.

"Whooo!! Go Loki!!" Cheryl screamed (possibly). Her mouth made the words anyway. The sound was lost in the noise surrounding him. He saluted her with his empty beer can.

JimBob gave him another kiss. Loki returned it hard and wanting, not caring that they were in the centre of a crowd. He'd already learned that people like this did not care about such things. 

Loki let the music throb its way onto his soul and the beer into his head.

It was, he reflected later as JimBob lay passed out on the grass, all Odin's fault.

He should never have taken a frost giant from the land of monsters and tried to raise him in the halls of Asgard. Loki had grown up surrounded by beauty, of course he had learnt to crave it, when all along where he belonged was here, pressed into the side of a man-troll as he lay in a drunken stupor on the ground. 

Of course with his runt status Jotunheim, and the Jotun people, would not have found him desirable anyway. The thought was painful, but less so than it had been in the past. 

Loki looked down at JimBob's sleeping form. He was snoring loudly enough to wake the dead. 

'At least there *is* a place in the nine realms for a little monster runt.' He thought.

"Hey Loki, come inside! JimBob'll sleep it off. You can have the couch!" Kane called from the back door.

Loki rose and headed indoors, a strange warm feeling grew in his belly as he was welcomed into the house.

****

Tony Stark was feeling foolish. He'd poked the bear, that much was certain. He'd wanted to test his theory that certain insults would cause Loki to freeze up, but that had backfired spectacularly.

Now he was stuck in the Shield hospital, and the nurse wasn't sexy.

He suspected Fury had made sure of that on purpose.

Because of his injured status, they were holding the debriefing meeting in his hospital room.

"What happened on top of the building?" Fury asked.

"I made an error in my calculations." Tony said.

Fury gave him a death stare. Tony liked to believe he was becoming impervious to them. He was wrong.

"I called him ugly." He admitted.

Fury blinked, just once, but he did.

"And that was enough to make him blow up the building rather than allow his plans to come to fruition?" He asked with a warning in his voice.

"Apparently." Tony said, wincing. "I broke bones you know, you'd think if I were going to tell a story about why I'd come up with something better than that."

"My brother is most unfortunate about his appearance, but his reaction has never been so strong." Thor said.

The room turned to look at him. Even the lampshade gave the impression of an incredulous stare.

"What are you talking about?" Tony asked.

Thor looked from one to the other.

"Loki is not an attractive man, surely you can see it?" He said.

The room shook its collective heads.

"His hair?" Thor said. "And eyes? And the paleness of his skin? His lack of beard."

"Hey!" Said Hawkeye and Steve together.

"His lack of muscle." Thor continued. 

Tony scowled. "Not *that* important." He muttered.

"His high cheekbones and long fingers."

Fury raised an eyebrow.

"Everything that is beauty in a man my brother possesses the opposite. He is most unfortunate."

The room exchanged glances, including the lamp. 

"This needs investigating." Black Widow said. "Thor, do you mean to say that we are all ugly by the standards of Asgard?"

"No! Oh no my friends. You, man-of-iron possess a groomed beard, and your eyes are brown! You Steve Rogers may not possess a beard but you have golden hair and muscles, and you Lady Widow have red hair, the second best kind to have!"

There was more silence.

"We." Tony said at last. "Are going to need a whiteboard."


	9. Chapter 9

The house did not stir until late the following morning, Loki made JimBob coffee and brought him some headache tablets.

"You're good to me babe." JimBob muttered in thanks, downing both at an alarming rate. Loki took a sip of his own drink as Kane fried things in the kitchen.

JimBob was not able to express his gratitude until that evening, but when he did he did a fine job.

Loki lay on his back as JimBob trailed his fingers slowly up from his knees to his hips. He left a trail of kisses across Loki's stomach as his big hands slipped around and squeezed Loki's buttocks hard enough to make him whimper.

"You 'kay babe." He murmured in Loki's ear.

"Yes." Loki breathed. "Yes."

More. Was the unspoken command. Give me more.

JimBob ran his teeth gently down Loki's neck as his fingers reached their destination. Loki arched upward as he was breached. His breathing was hard for such a gentle handling and he was struggling to remain coherent.

JimBob pushed one of Loki's legs up until it curled against his stomach, while his other hand continued its slow teasing of Loki's hole.

Loki whimpered, his eyelids were fluttering. The sensations were washing through his body in waves. This was amazing.

JimBob pushed Loki's other leg up until he was completely folded against himself. He settled his great bulk on top of Loki's body and slid forwards into Loki's tight hole.

Loki moaned and gasped. He couldn't move in this position. utterly helpless was not something he had willingly allowed in so long, but with JimBob he had never felt calmer.

For the next few minutes all that could be heard was the sound of their breathing. JimBob moved slowly, pausing slightly between thrusts, holding himself far inside for long seconds as Loki shuddered in pleasure. 

"Fucking beautiful." JimBob moaned, looking down at Loki laid out beneath him.

Loki closed his eyes and turned his head away, as if to chase away such lies. JimBob had no intention of letting him.

"Gorgeous." He murmured with a thrust.

"Perty."

"Beautiful."

"Stunnin'"

"Hot."

"sweet."

"Darlin'"

Loki was moaning, his hands were trying to reach past his curled legs to reach JimBob's skin. His fingertips brushed lightly against anywhere he could reach.

"Babe." JimBob groaned.

"Mine."

Loki came with a gasp, the wetness spurting in between their bodies, smearing across both their bellies.

JimBob's mouth curled up in a crooked smile. He didn't stop.

"Lovely."

"Fine."

"Fucking sweet arse."

"Fucking beautiful."

"Fucking hot."

"Babe."

"Babe."

"Babe!"

JimBob spilled himself inside of Loki, making his moan at the sensation. For a moment they lay there, still pressed together tightly, then JimBob carefully lifted himself away and grabbed the sheet to clean them up.

Loki uncurled and stretched his legs, oblivious to the way JimBob had stopped and was watching him.

His first clue was the heavy hand that reached out and stroked his flank in a powerful motion. He turned and moulded his body against JimBob's, trying to ignore the sweat that smelled like beer leaking out of the man's pores.

"You're beautiful babe." JimBob said and kissed him hard.

If someone had asked Loki how he felt in that moment he would have said almost happy.

****

Loki was determined to find a pet to love. A hunting dog was perfectly acceptable, lots of warriors had them. So he dragged Thor along to the market to see what was on offer.

The moment he saw Fenrir all his plans went out of the window.

The poor thing's head was far too big for its body. It had a little sore on the bottom of its chin where the weight of its head caused it to drag. Its back was hunched slightly from the awkward angle it was forced to stand at.

"It's a mutant." The breeder said. "It happens sometimes even in the best of families."

Realising what he'd said, he blushed furiously. Loki pretended that he hadn't made the connection.

He cast his gaze over the litter. They were excited, sleek and healthy. Perfect, every one.

Without meaning to he looked back at Fenrir, the little puppy was trying to lift his head up over the edge of the bowl to get at the food within. He couldn't manage it. His body was far thinner than the others, Loki realised. He couldn't eat properly. Without great care and plenty of attention he was sure to die, and soon.

Loki rode home with Fenrir in his arms. The little puppy was snuggled in so lovingly, its big brown eyes gazed up at Loki adoringly.

No sooner than he got Fenrir indoors Loki sent for minced meat and vegetables for Fenrir. He spent an hour carefully scooping the mixture into his new pet's mouth. Fenrir's tongue wasn't quite long enough to lap at water easily, so Loki gently drizzled the water down the pup's throat. 

For a while, the second prince of Asgard was absent from everything. Locked away sending only for meals, some fit for Aesir, some fit for a dog. Rumours, Loki's ever constant companion, began circulating again.

Under Loki's watch, Fenrir grew bigger and healthier. His body caught up with his head, and he was able to run around after his master's feet. No one ever saw Loki without Fenrir, they were inseparable. The palace began to call Fenrir Loki's child, well, second child if they were away from Odin's hearing.

Fenrir was utterly devoted to Loki, the only problem he had was his tendency to growl menacingly at everyone else. But under Loki's eye he never attacked.

Fenrir continued to grow. And grow. And grow. When he reached Loki's waist, Loki was pleased. When he reached Loki's armpit, Loki was surprised. When he reached Loki's shoulder, Loki began to worry.

Fenrir was becoming too big for the palace. He knocked the tapestries down as he passed. He was easily big enough now to take down a pack of his brothers. Loki couldn't understand it.

Fenrir was too big for his bed. Loki had allowed the pup to sleep there from the first night, his warm body a source of comfort when events conspired to cause Loki to hurt. When Loki came back from the slums, rejected yet again, Fenrir was waiting to greet him with insane affection and love. But now Loki was forced to build him a house of his own outside. 

"I'm sorry Fenrir." Loki said as he left him on the first night. "You're too big for the room, but I'll be back in the morning."

Fenrir howled all night. Loki finally got him to stop by sleeping down in there with him.

Months went by, and Loki got used to the ground. He had to sneak down there, as Princes were not supposed to sleep in the yard, but it made Fenrir happy, which in turn made Loki happy.

One morning when Loki woke up, Fenrir was not there.

Loki checked the gardens but they were empty, he went out into the yard beyond.

Fenrir was watching something in the distance, no, stalking something. Loki knew the stance. It was one he normally saw before the prey became limbs and blood.

He crept closer, wondering what Fenrir could be stalking this close to the Palace.

It was children. They were playing in the field and Fenrir was *hunting* them.

Loki grabbed his pet by the collar and pulled him up sharply.

"Fenrir no!" He hissed. 

This couldn't be, he thought he'd trained Fenrir so well. With fear in his heart, Loki commanded Fenrir back to the palace. Fenrir obeyed without question and after a time Loki convinced himself that he must have been imagining it.

That is until screams of fear sent him running, along with half the court of Asgard, to the cow hills not far from the eastern wall of the palace gardens.

Fenrir had attacked the cows. The herders were safe on the sidelines, shouting in alarm but half the herd was dead.

The moment Fenrir heard Loki's voice he stopped his frenzied killing and ran up to his master playfully, with no sign of what he'd been doing only moments before.

Faced with the wrath of the court, Loki promised to bind Fenrir, to keep him from harming anything else. He also paid the herders for their cows, wiping out a good deal of the money he'd so carefully saved in the hope of finding someone to lie with him.

He tried a normal chain. But come morning Fenrir broke it easily the moment Loki went to leave him.

Next he tried a big, heavy chain, which at first seemed to work, only for Fenrir to come looking for him as he sat in the great hall.

Finally he enchanted a chain. It was so thin that it looked almost comical around Fenrir's neck, but try as he might, the mighty dog could not break it.

Loki was relieved. He was sure that Fenrir just needed to be taken out on more hunts to work off his energy. And much, much better training.

He organised some more hunts with Thor, one of the few people who did not yet fear Fenrir's power. They spent the afternoon making plans for a good, long hunt.

The servant who interrupted them was shaking.

"My Lords." He said. "My Lords you must come at once to the dog's yard."

Loki felt the alarm growing in his stomach as he ran to Fenrir's yard. Had his pet broken the chain? It was impossible! Loki had enchanted it to hold against forces far beyond what even Fenrir could muster.

Fenrir had not broken his chain, he had not needed to.

Tyr was being seen to by three healers in the corner. There was a disturbing amount of blood on the ground.

Fenrir was on his side, whining in pain.

Loki ran to him and ran his hands over Fenrir's body, searching for a wound. He couldn't find one.

"What did you do?!" He screamed at Tyr.

Tyr held up a stump where his hand used to be.

"I did nothing, your *monster* took my hand!"

Loki turned back to Fenrir, the dog was shuddering in the throes of death.

"Tyr." He whispered.

"It's a good thing I was holding my hunting knife, at least the beast will die for this." Tyr declared as the healers tried to get him to sit down.

Loki reached out and stroked Fenrir' fur. The poor beast was bleeding inside, cut to ribbons by Tyr's knife as he swallowed.

"Fenrir." Loki whispered. "Fenrir, my dear, sweet companion. Good boy, you're a good boy."

Fenrir stuck his tongue out and managed to lick Loki's hand just once, leaving a smear of blood. Then he was gone.

Loki sobbed openly over the body of his pet, he didn't care who saw it, or what they thought. Fenrir was gone.

In the days that followed, Tyr demanded restitution from Loki for the loss of his hand. Loki refused, asking pointedly why Tyr had chosen to cross Fenrir's yard when it was not on a direct route to or from anywhere and why was his hunting knife in his hand if Fenrir attacked him without warning as Tyr claimed?

Of course the court sided with Tyr. But Odin thankfully was fairer. He declared that Tyr had suffered by losing his hand, and Loki had suffered by losing his pet. Neither should pay restitution to the other.

Loki buried Fenrir, free of his chain, in a glen far from the palace. It was hidden and secret, so than none would find it and mock Fenrir's memory on the ground where he lay.

Alone again. Loki wandered the halls of the palace at night, he had no desire to stay in his empty rooms, and without Fenrir, he had no one to talk to or visit. 

But that little flame inside refused to be quenched. He wouldn't give up. He couldn't be alone forever, somewhere out there was a person who was his other half. Even if he waited a thousand years he would find them. He had to find them.


	10. Chapter 10

Loki was sitting alone in JimBob's apartment at two o'clock in the afternoon. He was trying to plot his next big plan but truthfully, he was having trouble coming up with ideas. 

That artefact would have worked so well. There was a reason Villains were not always causing major trouble, mostly it had to do with the sheer creative output of each plan burning them out until they had time to recharge.

Maybe he could just turn all the city buildings various shades of green until he thought of something better. Just so they knew he was still around.

Despite his resolution to find the next big scheme, Loki’s thought kept returning to JimBob.

The man was a troll. He really was. Ugly, yes. Smell, very much yes. Ate like an animal and had some truly disgusting personal habits. But…

JimBob himself didn’t seem to care. He wasn’t unhappy, or even alone. He had friends who accepted him completely. There was something in his attitude that seemed to make him impervious to criticism or shame. The man was irrepressible. Loki found that he had a great deal of admiration for JimBob. He had no doubt that if the man were introduced to the realm of Asgard he would stare back in the face of their objections and comments and bluntly tell them to fuck off.

Loki wished he could be more like that. JimBob never seemed sad or lonely. He was a simple man with simple tastes and absolutely Did Not Give a Fuck. 

Loki was smitten.

****

Tony Stark stood in front of his computerised whiteboard, because he was Tony Stark and nothing he owned, used or, if he could help it, looked at, did not have a computer in it somewhere.

“Okay.” He said, trying not to wince. He was up, but he didn’t have to be happy about it. “In Asgard, there is a standard of beauty, same as anywhere else. For men, this standard involves the following:

Blond hair  
Golden or bronzed skin  
Muscles  
Blue eyes  
A strong jaw  
A beard  
Large hands with thick, tough fingers  
Height  
Broad shoulders

He write each one on the whiteboard as he spoke.

“Am I missing anything?”

Thor, who had been sat in the centre of the room where everyone could see him, shook his head.

“Right.” Tony continued. “As we all know, perfection is not easy to obtain. So blond hair is preferred, but red hair is also kinda nice, then brown, then black. But you can have black hair and not be ugly if you have a beard, or blue eyes.” He drew a line between them in blue. “You can have brown eyes if you’ve got a tan. A lack of a beard is okay is you’ve got muscles or blond hair, hands don’t matter if your jaw is strong–” The whiteboard was getting covered in lines and words– “But if you’ve got black hair, green eyes, really pale skin, no muscle, a pointed chin, no beard to hide it, thin hands, slender fingers and narrow shoulders you are irredeemably ugly. Is that right?” He asked, looking at Thor.

Thor nodded carefully.

“That is correct man of iron.”

“That’s stupid.” Bruce said. “Why are green eyes so bad anyway?”

“Green is the colour of a killing potion.” Thor said. “They are the worst kind of potion and those with green eyes were suspected of making them, in the past.”

“Which to you is our proto-man days.” Tony said. 

“Just out of curiosity,” Bruce continued. “Whose more attractive? Loki or the other guy?”

Thor squirmed in his seat, giving them their answer.

“You cannot be serious.” Hawkeye said flatly. 

“But he’s green all over.” Bruce protested.

“Muscles.” Tony said, tapping the whiteboard.

“Do not think that I love my brother any less for this.” Thor said. “I never flinched at the sight of him like so many others.”

“What?!” Tony, Natasha, Bruce, Steve and even Hawkeye said at once.

“They flinched at the sight of him?” Natasha repeated incredulously. 

“As you all do.” Thor said, confusion evident on his face. “I have seen you react when you come upon him suddenly.”

“We react like that because he’s usually trying to kill us, it has nothing to do with his looks.” Steve said. “He’s not ugly.”

Thor’s brow crinkled in confusion.

“You do not find him unattractive?” He asked uncertainly.

“No.” Said Tony.

“No.” Said Natasha.

“Nope.” Bruce said.

“No.” Steve added.

“Don’t ever let him know this, but no.” Hawkeye said.

“No.” Coulson said.

“No.” Fury said. “This is ridiculous. We shouldn’t waste any more time on the Asgard standard of beauty.”

“But it’s a weakness.” Tony pointed out. “Admittedly, one that almost got me killed but if we harness this right Loki may be too demoralised to fight us anymore.”

Fury gave him a long stare.

“You can try it.” He said at last. “But if the consequences are anything like what they were the first time you ‘tested your theory’ then you may be in for more trouble than you expect.”

“Are you okay with this Thor?” Bruce asked. 

Thor looked miserable.

“I want him to come home.” He said. “It’s all I ever wanted for him.”

“I think I can see why he is reluctant.” Bruce said gently.

****

A giant serpent heading for Asgard was always going to cause the greatest of warriors to answer the charge. For two days straight they fought the great beast, they called it Jormungandr and gave up all their strength in the battle.

Loki fought with the others, but when he was forced to retire due to exhaustion he spent his time instead researching other ways of defeating the great beast.

He was still looking when news came of Thor's injury. The mighty prince of Asgard had been thrown back far and hard. He had managed to struggle upright and stagger nine steps before falling to his injuries. He was in the healer tent, and Loki hurried to see him.

Thor lay pale and still as the healers worked. Loki felt his fear grow as he saw his brother in such a state. Above all things he did not wish for Thor to die.

In a fury he approached the beast again. In anger he forced it to obey his will. With the might of all his studies and a will forged in terror and love and determination that lived within him he *forced* the great serpent to halt. His magic twisted it, pulled it, shrank it to nothing but a harmless wriggling string, no thicker than a fine golden chain.

With a muttered incantation he banished it to Midgard, to continue its life in a place where it did not feel so restrained. It could hurt no one now. The giant world snake was less than a foot long and would remain as such forever more.

Asgard was saved, and Loki was its saviour.

But things were never to be easy for the second prince. Thor was only too delighted to celebrate Loki's achievement, and every effort was made to make the feast as great a one as Asgard had ever seen.

Loki found he was quite pleased, his heart felt lighter than it had in a long while. He wondered if he might dare to think of himself as a hero now, as he had always longed to be.

At the feast he ate and drank freely, the happiness he felt at the table only grew as the night went on.

But as with all things Loki dared to find pleasure in, there was someone devoted to undoing it.

It was not until three days after that Loki first heard the whisper on the wind. Why, how could someone with no muscle, no hero's gait, no warrior's strength have defeated such a thing? Perhaps it was not a case of defeat but of a summoning? Did not Loki have a passion for the monstrous? Did he not hide dark thoughts and deeds behind that twisted face?

Horrified, Loki went to find Thor, hoping to at least have his brother's admiration.

Thor was in the training grounds, surrounded by warriors on all sides talking at him with worried looks. Loki made himself invisible and walked among them.

Thor was shaking his head.

"No, no. I tell you Loki would never do such a thing, yes I know Fenrir was a fierce beast but Loki bought him as a pup, he had no way of knowing what he would grow to be! And he would never send Jormungandr to Asgard! Never! Loki is loyal to Asgard, utterly, he is its greatest champion!"

So they were telling him their fears. Loki felt his heart warm a little at Thor's protest in his favour. He did not like the description of Fenrir but in light of what had happened he supposed he could forgive it this once. 

"Stop your words! I will not hear of my brother spoken in this way!" Thor bellowed, truly angry.

Loki stepped back, intending to leave.

"My prince, please see what is in front of your eyes. Loki is a monster, like Fenrir himself he has grown in your house and stolen your love but he will turn on you and twist that against you. Your heart will break." One of the older warriors urged.

Loki scowled at him. He had no right to say such thing. He didn't even know Loki! 

Thor was glaring at him.

"My brother is not a monster." He said. "He is... unfortunate in his looks but the man behind them is true and honest, he saved Asgard and he deserves our gratitude."

"He sent the monster to us!" A voice in the crowd yelled. It was cheered. Loki sneered beneath his spell.

"He fought the monster, same as us all." Thor said. 

"No. Not the same." Tyr said. "He used magic, a woman's art. He never fights like a warrior, he cannot, he has no muscle. He attracts monsters to protect him because he cannot protect himself. He did not kill the beast, only shrank it and banished it, until such time as he needs it again."

There was more cheering, Thor's roar was lost among it. Loki fled before he could hear more.

His greatest moment of triumph was to be twisted and changed. Altered until it no longer resembled the truth. He would never be a hero unless he killed a monster, not reduced it, not banished it, *killed* it. That was all the people could see.

Somehow, he determined, somehow he would find a way to be a hero.


	11. Chapter 11

About a month after Loki's latest attempt to take over the world, JimBob and Loki went out on their now typical Friday night drinking spree. They met up with their friends at a nearby bar and got started with every intention of settling in for the night.

Several drinks later and Loki needed the toilet. JimBob gave his arse a squeeze when he got up.

"Don't be long babe, I might have to come looking." He said with a cheeky grin.

Loki swatted his hand with good humour and made his way to the other side of the bar.

He was in front of them before he realised it.

Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton and Thor. They had clearly decided to slum it for the evening, a desire of Tony's no doubt.

"Loki!" Tony said in surprise, looking him up and down.

Loki realised that he was wearing jeans and a green and yellow checkered shirt, a present from JimBob that he'd picked up from Walmart.

He readied himself for a fight...

"I had no idea you were such a fashion connoisseur." Tony said, looking over Loki's outfit with an offending smirk. "Very nice, suits you perfectly."

Loki felt his face blush. He went to push past.

"Where do you think you're going? We're arresting you." Tony said. "You don't get a free pass just because you're not actively attacking the city right this second."

"Shouldn't you be in bed still , Stark?" Loki asked.

"Bone regenerator, it's not perfect, but I'm out and about. But really Loki, I want to talk about *you*."

"Leave me alone Stark, unless you want another month out of action." Loki snapped.

"Something wrong here babe?" JimBob said, coming up behind him.

Loki felt the embarrassment build in his stomach. JimBob was everything an Asgardian warrior wasn't. Thor would report this back to Odin and somehow it would get out and the whole realm would laugh at what he'd been reduced to, and with whom he'd been reduced to doing it.

Alone, Loki could convince himself that JimBob was acceptable. To a man who had nothing, anything was fine. But here, in front of golden Thor with his link to Asgard. Loki wished the floor would swallow him whole.

"I'm fine." He mumbled.

JimBob slung an arm around his shoulders, just in case anyone hadn't already worked it out.

Tony was openly staring in a kind of horror. Barton was grinning, it was not a nice grin. Thor looked shocked and Steve sympathetic.

Loki hated all of them.

"You know these guys?" JimBob said, giving Loki a squeeze.

'Stopitstopitstopit.' Loki thought. He didn't say it though, even faced with this level of shame he couldn't push JimBob away. After all, there was no one else in the nine realms who would take him.

"My brother and his friends." Loki said, raising his chin defiantly.

He would take their mocking, it's not like they were any great friends of his anyway. He just hoped he could get away before the tears started to fall.

"Who’s this?" Tony asked. 

Barton grinned evilly. "You've made a friend Loki! A special friend. He seems nice, really, you two are well suited."

Loki thought he saw Thor wince, but the big blond said nothing. Steve was looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"That's your brother?" JimBob said, pointing at Tony.

"Hell no. I'm much prettier than him." Tony said. "I've got a beard."

Loki felt a hot flush spread across his face and burn his cheeks. He had never felt such public humiliation. His status as a prince had always spared him such obvious ridicule, but no longer. Now he was fair game for all.

"No, him." Loki said. He pointed at Thor as the red blush on his face deepened. 

Then a horrible thought struck him. JimBob was about to lay eyes on the golden prince of Asgard. For the first time he would have the chance to compare Loki to Thor. Loki had no doubt that even the man-troll that was JimBob could appreciate how dull and ugly Loki was in comparison.

He had a mad urge to teleport JimBob away, but it was too late.

"*That's* your brother?" JimBob said, staring wide eyed at the large, golden perfect specimen that was Thor.

Loki braced himself for the rejection, the look of disbelief followed by horror.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" JimBob yelled at Thor. "You're just standing there, letting you friends rain shit on your brother like that?! Fuck man, I got six brothers and if one of my friends treated them like shit they wouldn't be my friend no more! You fucking asshole!"

Loki stared openly at JimBob. He had no idea what was happening, or how to deal with it.

"And you!" JimBob shouted, turning to Tony. "You're a fucking *dickhead* you act like you got a right to treat a man like shit? Who the fuck do you think you are?" 

Tony shrugged carelessly, although there was a tightness in his shoulders that made Loki realise that he wasn't completely unaffected by JimBob's words.

"As a matter of fact, I'm Iron Man." He said.

Loki's mouth twitched.

JimBob turned out to have a punch like a heavyweight, Tony received it like a lightweight. 

The brawl that followed made the evening news. 

****

Loki lay draped over JimBob's large body, the mound of blubber meant that he was bent at a frankly obscene angle, especially with his legs spread as they were to help him balance.

"How's your jaw?" Loki asked, gently kissing along the object of his inquiry.

"Fine." JimBob said. He'd taken a hit from Barton immediately after flooring Tony. But it hardly slowed him down, both had been carted out by paramedics at the finish.

Thor had spent the entire fight trying to pull Loki aside to talk to him. Loki had spent the fight ducking around people so that Thor could not succeed. He did not want a lecture on the standards of Asgard's royal family and how he'd well and truly lowered them.

He didn't care. JimBob had defended his honour. That was yet another first. All his best firsts belonged to JimBob, a fact that made Loki feel warm inside and out.

"It has a nasty bruise." Loki said gently against JimBob's flabby jaw.

"I've had worse. No one even clocked me in the eye this time!" JimBoB said. He sounded disappointed.

Loki let his hands wander downward, over JimBob's bulk to what lay nestled at the base.

He wrapped his hands around JimBob's cock and stroked upward.

"I'm glad you didn't get hit too hard." Loki said. "Otherwise you'd be too sore for this."

JimBob shot him a grin.

"How's about a victory blowjob?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Loki stopped moving.

*What the hell was a victory blowjob?*

"Uh." He said.

"It's okay babe, you don't have to." JimBob said.

"No! Ah, I mean, no, I want to, for you. Um, what is it?"

JimBob gripped his shoulders and pushed him up so that they could look each other in the eye.

"You never given a blow job?" He asked.

Loki felt panic rising, whatever it was it had to be important. 

"Just tell me what it is and I'll do it." He promised earnestly.

JimBob stared at him for a second before relaxing slightly.

"It's where you suck on my dick, babe." He said.

"Oh." Loki said. Well, he'd seen pictures in some of the books back in Asgard. He could only assume it must be quite pleasurable, without the ability to bend *completely* in half, he had never managed to experiment and so remained ignorant. 'Blow job' appeared to be a Midgard term.

"Okay." He said and pushed himself lower.

"You don't have to babe, it's cool." JimBob said.

"I want to." Loki said stubbornly.

He wanted to try it all, even this.

Although the thought of putting his mouth around JimBob's cock was not very appealing. The man did not bathe often enough anyway, and more often than not the last place JimBob's cock had been was up Loki's arse.

He took a deep breath and regarded the sight before him. Nervously, he licked his lips and then opened his mouth.

Wider, he needed it to be wider than that, and he had to put his head on the side if he had any hope of doing this around JimBob’s great belly. The movement felt silly and awkward. With care Loki hovered over the tip and tried to work out what to do with his teeth.

Slowly he lowered his mouth down over the head, taking the first two inches into his mouth. He froze for a moment before slowly closing his lips around shaft.

Now what?! He pushed gently against it with his tongue. That seemed to have a positive reaction, if JimBob's moans were any indication.

He slowly drew his lips up about an inch, before pushing back down again. JimBob grunted in pleasure.

“Fuck babe, that’s good, real good.” He moaned.

Loki pressed his tongue into JimBob’s cock in rhythmic motions, while trying to keep his teeth from getting in the way. He reached a hand up and stroked the base of the shaft as he worked. JimBob gave a shout of approval.

‘Suck, the man had said suck.’ Loki thought. He carefully made a sucking motion with his mouth and was rewarded by the trembling in JimBob’s legs beneath him.

Okay. This was working. Loki sucked again, moving his hand up and down the exposed shaft as he did so. Despite his hesitations, his own cock began to fill.

Loki had always expected that a sexual act between himself and another would involve a great deal of pleasure on his side, and a great deal of courage on the other. The fact that it was an act *he* was performing that gave JimBob so much pleasure was an intoxicating thought.

Loki pushed down again and tried to take in a little more. The book had shown people taking it all the way in, although he wasn’t sure he could do so just yet. He wanted to try though. He wanted to make JimBob feel good.

He managed a little more, but the warning feeling in the back of his throat stopped him from being too ambitious. 

“Oh babe, oh babe. Oh yeah, cup my balls, yeah babe, yeah.” JimBob moaned from over the blubber mound. Loki obeyed, rolling the sensitive sacks carefully with his fingers. JimBob’s moaning grew louder.

Loki drew back until the very tip just sat against his lips, he licked the slimy end and holding it still with his mouth, worked his tongue against the slit.

JimBob thrust up in response, forcing Loki to take him back inside, thankfully not so far that he couldn’t cope.

“Sorry babe, sorry.” JImBob gasped. “That’s fucking good, you’re fucking good.”

Loki drew back up and did it again, with a little more care. JimBob was panting in pleasure, moaning out ‘babe’ like a prayer.

Loki thought he would come alone from the pleasure he was giving JimBob. He sucked as much of the man back in as he could, stroking the rest firmly down the base before reaching down to fondle the balls again.

“I’m gonna come!” JimBob gasped. “Babe I’m gonna come!”

Wait, what? Of course, this was going to end with climax, how could he have forgotten. Was Loki supposed to swallow it? He could imagine pulling away at this point, it would be cruel, but did he really want to swallow down JimBob’s release?

He mused too long, with a cry of pleasure, JimBob spurted a huge glob of cum into Loki’s mouth. Loki reared up in surprise, which is why the rest of it hit him in the face.

JimBob recovered his breathing long enough to look down. When he saw Loki’s horrified expression he burst out laughing.

Loki felt a hot flush run through him. JimBob was *laughing* at him. Mocking his inexperience. Crushed, Loki turned away.

“Babe? Hey babe! Come here.” JimBob said, reached down and pulling Loki into his arms. “You don’t find this funny?” He asked.

Loki looked at him uncertainly.

“You gotta learn to laugh at yourself babe, life too short to be so hung up all the time.” JimBob said, grabbing a bit of sheet and wiping the cum off Loki’s face with a gentle touch. “I’m gonna make you laugh one day babe.” He said. “I bet you look real perty when you laugh. Of course, you look real perty anyways so that’s not much of a challenge.”

The corner of Loki’s mouth turned upward.

JimBob let go of the sheet and touched him gently on the curve.

“There now, I’m halfway there already.” He said.

Then JimBob laid Loki on his back and explained to him in no words at all why blowjobs were so very desirable.

****

Five hundred and fourteen kisses, seventy nine ruts, four hundred and eighty three cuddles and one blow job.

Wow. Just... Wow. There were so many, the ruts alone! Loki could hardly believe the change in his life. The knowledge that when JimBob came home, sweaty and tired from his day’s work he *still* had the energy to take Loki hard and fast, or slow and gentle, sometimes even *both*. Now that was a good evening.

The man still had some of the most disgusting habits Loki had ever seen. There were times when he truly wanted to throw JimBob in the shower and scrub him until he finally stopped smelling of stale sweat, but if JimBob could bear to look at Loki and say he was beautiful, Loki could bear to inhale the aroma of JimBob.

He’d always promised himself that if he found someone he would not criticise them, someone like him had no right to do so.

Thor had apparently made it his new mission to talk to Loki. He’d been spotted back at that same bar every night for weeks. Loki avoided it. Luckily, so did JimBob’s friends, although that might have had something to do with being banned for brawling. They found a new bar and drank there instead.

JimBob, uncomplicated fellow that he was, had decided that Loki’s lack of sexual experience needed to be fucked out of him. What had followed was a series of new positions, techniques and experiments. Recently JimBob had brought home something new.

He’d explained what it was and left it in the bedroom for Loki to examine while he was at work.

“Just remember that you don’t have to babe.” He said as he chucked it on the bed.

It was a thing, shaped like a penis. It vibrated rather pleasantly. Loki wasn’t sure he could see the point though. JimBob had a penis, if Loki was using this then what would JimBob do with his…? 

Oh. Blowjob. Right. There was a point after all. Loki supposed he should get to know it better.

Which is why he was lying splayd out on the bed making fast panting noises when JimBob came home.

For long minutes, JimBob just stood and watched him with a smile on his face. Babe looked so cute when he was all sexed up.

****

Loki sat on his bed in total darkness. The door was locked; the spells to keep the sound from travelling were cast. He shut his eyes tightly and reached down to stroke himself.

His lover was a silent presence in the corner of the room. The man made no sound. He only watched as Loki slowly began to pleasure himself. Soft moans came from his mouth as he worked his shaft. In his mind’s eye he could see the man, golden, perfect in every way, leaning forwards and watching intently, wanting Loki, forcing himself to stay still and silent and only watch.

Loki worked himself to a steady peak, his climax made him cry out just a little as his spill splattering across his sheets. 

For long minutes, Loki stayed utterly still, he did not open his eyes, but he could not stay that way forever. At last he peered into the gloom.

The corner was empty, the room deserted. It was his favourite fantasy, the idea that someone, even silent, was watching and desiring him. But soon he would have to quite its use. Each time opening his eyes and facing the cold reality was harder than ever. 

Breathing slowly, feeling as though he was skating above a great sea of dark feeling that threatened to drown him, Loki climbed off the bed and went to clean up.

He was just pressing the dampened cloth to his skin when he began to cry.

****

Loki came hard, crying out as he did so. For a moment he lay still, but then slick fingers gasped at the buzzing thing in his arse, trying to grip it hard enough to remove it. They slipped a couple of times, making him moan softy.

Thick fingers reached down and gasped the end, making him jolt in surprise. He had not even heard JimBob come home. 

“How long have you been there?” He asked, breathless.

“I saw most of it.” JimBob said, sliding the thing out of Loki’s body gently.

“You didn’t say anything.” Loki said, sitting up and kissing him in greeting.

“Why spoil the view?” JimBob said with a smile.

He leaned forwards and kissed Loki hard. Loki lay back and groaned in renewed pleasure.


	12. Chapter 12

These hospital debriefings were starting to annoy Tony. He had barely any warning before that blubber mound had floored him. Barton was also horizontal, although Thor and Steve had fared better.

Fury was not impressed.

“You were in a bar brawl.” He said disapprovingly. He held up the newspaper with the story. “With civilians.”

“To be fair, we were trying to arrest Loki, it’s not our fault he went and made friends.” Tony said.

“Friends with fists.” Barton moaned. His eye was one big black spot.

“You were picking on him.” Steve said.

“I’d pick on anyone who wore that shirt.” Tony said. “And I thought that was the plan.”

“That’s the second time you’ve tried that plan, it’s not working. Besides, arresting someone and hurting them are two very different things.” Steve said.

“I didn’t hear you protest at the time.” Tony snapped.

Steve blushed.

“I should have, I am ashamed that I didn’t. What you did was not just taunting the villain, you were *mean*.”

“I’m a mean girl.” Tony paraphrased. “I’m Regina.”

“I think we should rethink things.” Steve said. “Mostly because I’ve been talking to Thor. Now I think you need to hear what Loki’s life was like growing up.”

Tony would have shrugged, but he was hurting too much.

“That doesn’t excuse his actions.” He said.

“No, it doesn’t. But I think he may *change* his actions if we approach this right. According to Thor, Loki was good and honest-“

Tony snorted, then winced.

“- but centuries of Asgard treatment has made him change his behaviour. But the important thing is, Stark, Loki only changed recently. Up until he suffered some kind of breakdown and jumped off the Bifrost in an attempt to *kill* himself, Loki was basically good. A bit of a handful, but good.”

“And you think he will just stop his evil ways if we call him pretty?” Tony said. “I don’t believe it.”

“I think a little understanding can go a long way.” Steve said. “And I feel we should give him a chance.”

“Fine, next time I see him I’ll be nice.” Tony said.

“You won’t see him, you and Agent Barton are banned from fighting him except under extreme circumstances.” Fury said. “We want this plan to *work*.”

Tony sighed dramatically.

“Fine, but when you are all enslaved or dead, I told you so.”

****

Loki had tried every whore in Asgard, except one. The boy was still a youth, which Loki personally objected to. But he was unlikely to get much older before his death. So Loki had finally decided to try it, one last time.

The boy was a sickly looking thing, unnatural in colour, hair falling out, Loki swung wildly between his desperate loneliness and not wanting to debase himself with one who did not deserve such attention.

His loneliness was winning. He ached for contact, in fact, he had resolved not to lie with the youth at all. He would offer all his coin for a night spent pressed close to him. A night wrapped in arms not imagined or dreamed. 

Surely this wretched thing would not deny him, not for enough money to let him live in utter luxury until his death. 

Loki took a deep breath. He was so nervous he was trembling. He had asked so many of them, been rejected so many times. Still that little flame would not abandon him. One night. It was not too much. Even something as hideous as Loki deserved one night.

Didn’t he?

He approached the sickly boy with his head under his cloak.

The boy smiled like a skeleton as he approached. He did not get much business these days.

Loki held open the purse with shaking fingers.

The boy looked wide eyed at the money.

“You want the works?” He asked, his voice caught as he tried not to cough.

“No.” Loki whispered. “Let me sleep beside you, let me hold you and be held in return. You can have it all for that.”

The boy narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked.

“I am ugly.” Loki said, fighting the hurt in his chest as he said the words.

You’d think he would grow used to it by now.

“That makes two of us.” The boy said, and gave way to coughing for some minutes.

Loki held the purse out when the boy was done. With his other hand he carefully lifted the hood.

The boy started, which was only to be expected. He stared at Loki with wide eyes.

“You are a monster.” He whispered in horror.

“I’m not!” Loki protested. “I look terrible I know but I am not a monster, I only want to know the comfort of another beside me, one night and you can have it all. I will not touch you I swear!”

The boy shook his head.

“No. I will surely catch something terrible.” He said, backing away.

“You already have something terrible.” Loki said, desperation rising.

“I know, but at least when I die I’ll still look Aesir.” The boy said. “I won’t look like a monster.”

The boy ran, or tried to. He was coughing again as he stumbled away from where Loki stood.

Loki walked back to the higher city in a daze. He was lucky not to be attacked, but those that saw his face decided that something that monstrous was probably more trouble than it was worth.

There was no one for him. No one in the whole of Asgard who would even let him lie beside them. The pain was like a knife in his gut, twisting and digging deeper. He couldn’t make it stop. He looked down at the coin he had saved. He thought about all he had denied himself to save it.

He went into the nearest bar and got very, very drunk.

By the time the guards came for him to carry him home Loki was almost unconscious, as was the rest of the bar, Loki had been extremely generous with his now useless coin.

The purse was still nine tenths full.

Odin was mad of course. His sons could go drinking but such excess was shameful. He lectured Loki on duty, on honour, on the standards expected of a prince. Loki sat with an aching head and pretended to care. Inside, the little flame flickered warningly. It was so weak now, only the knowledge that he at least had his family’s love kept him from despairing entirely.

After all, Odin wouldn’t be so angry if he didn’t care, Thor wouldn’t be so happy to have him on quests if he did not love his brother. Mother cared greatly for him, he knew.

He would have to be content with that. Surely he was not he first person in existence to be unable to find a partner. It must be possible to get by. And just because his first pet had not worked out did not mean he could not try again. He could advance his studies, become the wisest man in Asgard. Perhaps one day they would say that he traded his looks for wisdom, the way they said Odin traded his eye instead of losing it in battle with the Jotun. Loki listened to his father’s words, and took comfort in the knowledge that at least he had a family to love him.


	13. Chapter 13

When they first gave him Gungnir, all Loki had thought was that he did not wish to be King. When Sif and the Warriors 3 challenged him, he truly meant what he said about bringing Thor back against Odin’s wishes. He did say it in rather a sly way, but that was because he was saying it to Sif.

All he wanted was to crawl away somewhere and cry. He was not a true Odinson, he was not even Aesir. He was Jotun, one of the monster races. But, he told himself as he felt the weight of Gungnir in his arms, he would not act as such. He would *prove* that he had the right to call Odin father. He would safeguard Asgard until such time as Odin woke. He would be a good king for however long it took, maybe even forever, if he were truly unlucky.

If Odin never woke and Thor never returned, Loki would need an heir.

The thought was so sudden it made him gasp lightly. The second son of Asgard was no temptation, but what about its King? Surely there would be some family out there with a daughter willing to be the Queen of Asgard, even if she had to live with Loki to do it.

The thought wouldn’t go away. It wouldn’t let him be. A queen to hold at night, to sit beside, to *talk* to, every day! But only if Odin slept, and Thor stayed away.

Thor, who mother had great faith in his ability to learn a lesson and return. But she was also worried about Father, he’d never fallen so suddenly before, he may never wake again.

The little flame was burning hotly inside, burning him with its desperation. Thor had to stay on Midgard, and what better way to ensure it than to convince Thor to stop trying to come home?

“Father is dead.” The lie, so easy it sounded and so painful it was to say. “The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile.”

‘I’m sorry brother, as soon as I have someone you can come home. As soon as she has been convinced to stay with me, I’m sure I can make her happy, whoever she is. But I need this, I need the throne. Stay here.’

Given time Loki could finally have what he’d longed for all this time, all his *life*. But, there were things to be done first. Jotunheim. The word itself made him shudder. He was a frost giant. No, he wasn’t, he WASN’T! He wouldn’t be a monster. Loki wanted nothing more than to destroy the whole world, to *make them not exist* because if they didn’t exist he couldn’t be one of them. War it would be then, all the warriors, fighting at *his* command.

In his mind Loki was floating, skipping across thoughts far deeper and more unpleasant than he’d ever had before. He stayed there, above them, deliberately not letting himself fall.

‘Just let me do this.’ He thought as he made plans to visit King Laufey.

Who was not his father, never his father. Soon they would all be gone and it would be like a dream. He would be Aesir.

When Sif and the Warriors Three went to get Thor, Loki felt the panic rise. Heimdall had allowed them to do it, against his orders! Even as a King he had no respect. His mind seemed to flee in that moment, all he could think about was keeping Thor away until his plans could be finished. They wanted so badly to go to him? Fine, they could stay there. 

He froze Heimdall, oh no oh no oh no, he had frozen the gatekeeper, people would want to know why. He’d have to come up with a reason, an excuse, another gatekeeper! And Heimdall was frozen! How was he going to explain that!

His thoughts turned to the Bifrost, to what it could be. A weapon that destroyed worlds, and if it exploded in the attack? By the time it was repaired and Thor could come home Loki was sure he would have his queen. He could do it. He could do what Thor couldn’t. He could end the threat of Jotunheim forever, and then he could never think of them again. He could be Aesir, one of the golden people, he would be a hero for destroying their enemy! He could marry and make his bride a queen and bring back Thor and they would be happy. It was the only way.

He sent the destroyer to be sure though. Once Sif has told Thor that Odin lives he will try again to regain his power and return. No, he must remain in exile a little longer.

“Ensure my brother does not return.” He says to the Destroyer. It was never meant to kill him, when Loki struck out it was an impulse of the moment, a fear that jumped to the surface too quickly to deny. He was losing control of himself. A part of him could still see it but could not stop the slide. 

He told himself it was a dream, Thor couldn’t be dead, he dreamed it, he dreamed it, he dreamed it.

When he blasts Laufey to his death Loki knows he is truly an Odinson.

Until Thor arrives and shatters his plan. Back, fully restored. Why would the people of Asgard want Loki if Thor were here? Without the throne Loki could feel his chances deserting him, fleeing, as though they too found him ugly.

So he fought, completely lost in need and want and yearning he fought the man he called brother, tried to make him *not be here* because it was Thor who stood in the way of Loki's chance.

His last chance.


	14. Chapter 14

Loki lay curled up on the couch against JimBob's body with a notebook in his hands. He was carefully making calculations for his next attempt at world domination. His pen traced the ancient runes with a confident hand. He had always been good at magic.

JimBob's program finished and he glanced down at Loki. For a few minutes he just watched as Loki worked.

"Hey babe." He said, reaching out a meaty hand to rub Loki's flank. Loki snuggled closer in response. "Whattaya doing?"

"It's a powerful spell, it creates a superweapon weapon that can be used to burn everything to ashes. The difficulty is in not letting it build up too much or the ingredients melt and the whole thing explodes. With this at my command they will do anything I command in order to spare their lives. I'll make the Avengers fight *for* me, *and* the regular armies of the world. Who needs an army when I can take *yours*. And once I'm done and the world is under my control I will *show* everyone that things are better with me in charge."

Loki was quite pleased with this plan.

"Does this stuff make you happy babe?" JimBob said doubtfully.

Loki frowned.

"You said you were cool with me trying to rule the world." He said defensively.

"I am, you can do whatever makes you happy babe. I'm just not so sure this is doing it."

Loki scowled and snuggled in closer so that he didn't have to have an argument. JimBob didn't understand. He had to do this, it was all he had left. He'd never been very happy growing up, his duties as a Prince were not always pleasing, and the rest of his goals, well... best not to think of them. He had learned not to expect happiness, and certainly not pursue it. He was a monster and a villain, monsters destroyed things. He didn't think liking it was relevant. Certainly he could never remember an incident when somebody had asked a villain if they enjoyed their work.

JimBob was apparently under the impression that Loki deserved him. Loki wasn't about to disabuse the notion, but he still found it laughable.

“It's what I do.” He said.

“As long as you’re sure, babe.” JimBob said, he looked doubtful.

“Yes.” Loki said in a warning tone.

JimBob went back to the TV, after a while his strokes became more intimate.

"You wanna put that down and do something fun babe?" He asked as his thick fingers slid under the waistband of Loki's pants.

"Yes." Loki said, his tone completely different.

The notebook fell to the floor forgotten as Loki and JimBob did something that made them both very happy indeed.

****

Seven weeks after being floored by a man-ape, Tony Stark was back and better than ever.

Which is why he was following Fury down the corridors of SHIELD complaining about how everyone else had been allowed to go and fight Loki.

It wasn't *fair*!

"I promise I won't call him ugly. I'll be really nice, or I won't say anything at all! I'll just blast him to pieces the way God intended."

"No." Fury said and vanished into his office.

Tony glared at the door.

"Fine." He mumbled and turned away. Maybe Barton was available to play a game of pool.

Two hours later, Coulsen walked into the games room with his usual unflappable demeanour.

"Loki's got some kind of massive superweapon charging on the empire state building. Get out there and stop him."

Tony and Barton shared a look.

"What happened to the others?" Barton asked.

"They're trapped in some kind of hardened goo, watch out for it. It's even holding the Hulk." Coulsen said.

"If I say I told you so..." Tony started.

"Go." Coulsen said. 

They went.

****

Loki stood with a manic grin on his face. It was working! They were all bowing down to him, the display of devotion was wonderful - and fake - and a delight - and a lie - and perfect, dammit! Perfect!

He just needed a few more, then he could move on to the rest of the world, *make* the people obey him. They would see sense in time. Perhaps one day they would come to love his rule.

No hunger, no war, no illness. He'd make it happen, they'd *want* him to stay.

Iron Man finally showed up to ruin the party. Loki sneered at him, vowing he wouldn't lose control today. 

"Hey there." Iron Man said awkwardly. "You... seem villainish?"

Loki threw a spell at him, narrowly missing as Iron Man dodged the goo that the spell summoned.

Hawkeye was sneaking up from behind. Iron Man made a few sudden feints, keeping Loki's attention on him.

"How about that game last night?" He said.

Loki raised a hand to fire again. Iron Man sounded like he was under heavy medication.

Iron Man was struggling to find things to say that weren't insults. Every good zinger he could think of was inappropriate. Although if this went on much longer he'd just take Fury's wrath.

Just as Barton lined up his shot, Loki whirled and threw his spell. The arrow missed Loki by an inch, the goo hardened around Hawkeye, leaving him incapacitated.

Tony lifted his arm to take the shot.

"Babe look out!"

Tony whirled and fired. His shot missed JimBob but hit the ground in front of him, throwing the man backwards towards the edge.

Loki’s eyes went wide. What the hell was JimBob even doing here?!

For a second JimBob teetered, unable to balance, then, eyes wide with shock, he tumbled backwards and fell from the building. 

****

The Bifrost explosion threw Loki into the air. He kept a tight grip on Gungnir, ready to fight the second his feet touched the ground.

Except that they didn't touch the ground. Loki's fall was halted by a sharp tug on his arm. He was dangling over the broken edge. Eyes wide, he looked up to see is brother holding tightly to the other end of Gungnir, and beyond him, keeping them from falling, stood Odin. His father.

"I could have done it father!" He screamed. "I could have done it, for us!"

For you. I am your son, not his, never his. I could have protected Asgard. I love you father, please.

"No Loki."

You're wrong Loki.

You're evil Loki.

Look at what you've done Loki

You're not my son Loki.

You're a monster Loki. 

He was a monster. Suddenly Loki could see it so clearly, everything he'd done, every action he'd taken. Those were never the actions of a hero. He was a monster and always had been. The others had known even when they were children. His whole life he had fought it, but it was useless, he was never meant to have love. 

Monsters didn't deserve to be loved.

The cold air seemed to flow into him, rapidly sinking into the centre where the little flame of hope spluttered weakly. Despite everything, it gave one last flicker...

Maybe he was a monster, but maybe, just maybe, he could be a hero too? After all, the only thing you needed to do to be a hero was to kill a monster.

Loki let go.


	15. Chapter 15

JimBob fell - 

\- and jolted to a halt. Above him Loki gripped him tightly by the wrist. He didn't look large enough to hold JimBob, but in more ways than one, Loki had always been stronger than he looked.

Over Loki's shoulder the spell lost control and exploded, throwing pieces of brickwork into the air. Loki held on and didn't look back.

Some things were worth holding on to.

****

One year after Loki held on...

His trial was finally over. Midgardians had a custom known as a 'fair hearing' Which Loki found curious. It was also how he discovered that a 'bad childhood' which he appeared to have had was a 'mitigating circumstance' and that while he had done some very bad things, he had a better chance than most of being ‘rehabilitated’ which meant not doing them again.

It almost didn't happen that way. Loki refused to talk about his past, even when his lawyer told him that it would help his case. He didn't want anyone to know how unlovable he was.

It was with great surprise that he watched Thor take the stand in his defence.

Thor spoke for a long time, about all the good things Loki had done for Asgard. Loki himself was astonished that Thor even remembered them, but he did. Then he spoke about how the Aesir had treated Loki and people like him. In a quiet, humble voice he described the way they twisted Loki's life and how at every turn they made him the monster of their stories.

"I regret that I did not do more to stop it." Thor said with tears in his eyes. "Loki has always been so strong, and I have always admired his strength. I did not think he had a point where he could be broken, and he never should have been forced to find it. I am sorry brother. They call me a hero in Asgard, but I do not deserve the title. I have always thought you better than I."

"Loki was your hero?" The lawyer prompted.

"He still is." Thor said softly.

Loki had to look down, he couldn't see through the tears in his eyes.

His sentence was two years minimum incarceration, with his release dependant on the opinion of a specialist therapist. 

JimBob was allowed to visit him in his specially designed cell. He ended up staying nearly every night once Fury was persuaded to turn a blind eye. 

"Why?" Loki had asked him one night when they lay snuggled up together upon the narrow bed.

"Three of me brothers went to jail." JimBob said. "Not at the same time of course. You gotta stick by the ones you love."

"You love me?"

"Yeah."

"I love you too."

That was the day Loki stopped counting kisses.

****

Three years after Loki held on...

The discovery that Coulsen was a trained therapist caused a certain amount of surprise, but when anyone stopped and thought about it, it made a lot of sense. He was unflappable, and well suited to making 'interesting' personalities do what they needed to do. Some people (Tony) wondered why they hadn't seen it before.

He started by debriefing Loki about the last of his plans. Then the other ones, and then, gently and carefully, he teased out more and more details of Loki's past.

There were times when Loki would cry or scream. Sometimes he would stop talking entirely. Sometimes he would scream at Coulsen to get out, and others when he would be waiting anxiously by the door.

After a while Coulsen brought in Thor and encouraged them to talk to each other.

One day Thor asked Loki if he might bring a letter from mother.

Many months later, one of Frigga’s letters contained a brief, loving paragraph from his father.

After two years, Coulsen said Loki could be released provided he came in for therapy twice a week.

JimBob threw him a welcome home party. Thor showed up with mead and poptarts.

****

Five years after Loki held on...

"Well?" Fury asked. 

Loki felt as though he was flying, soaring. This was beyond everything he'd ever hoped for.

Sometime after Loki's release, a new villain held the city hostage. He appeared to be using ancient spells to force people to do his bidding. The Avengers had gone to Loki and asked him if he recognised the spells and knew how they could be defeated.

His advice saved the city. Fury sent him a thankyou letter.

A little while after that, S.H.I.E.L.D asked him if he would work with them part time to help identify and control the numerous artefacts that went through S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. Loki agreed, and so received his own identification badge and the first legitimate work he’s ever done on Midgard.

Some months after that, the Avengers were all captured by an insane alien leader who publically tortured Captain America.

S.H.I.E.L.D asked Loki if he could help. He could, and did. The Avengers threw him a thankyou party where Tony got drunk and told JimBob that he'd always kinda thought Loki was hot and that he, JimBob, was a lucky bastard. But shhhhhh! Don't tell anyone.

Now he was being asked if he wanted to join the Avengers full time.

"Yes." Loki said.

He couldn't believe it. He was one of the heroes.

****

Six years after Loki held on...

JimBob was wearing a new singlet, his one concession to what was about to happen. Loki was trembling with nerves. Thor was unable to sit still.

Finally, the sky lit up and the King and Queen of Asgard arrived on Midgard.

Frigga was cheerful in a slightly nervous way. She had not laid eyes on Loki in so long, and his gradual transformation back to the man she knew him to be had been difficult not to be a part of. She gave JimBob a hug, which surprised Loki, who thought she wouldn’t be able to look at him.

Odin was mostly silent, watching his two sons as they interacted with their mother. He drank tea and ate a poptart. Finally, when things were calmer and the nerves of the morning had settled, he asked Loki if they might have a word in private.

Loki never told anyone what was said. But he came back with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. 

“I do have one other piece of news.” Thor said as they drank the last of the tea. “Jane and I wish to wed.”

“Oh Thor that’s wonderful!” Frigga exclaimed.

Odin smiled and clapped his son on the shoulder. “She is a fine woman, my son.”

“I know we must wed in Asgard, but her family and our Midgard friends will want to be there.” Thor began.

“They are welcome.” Odin said. “They will be well taken care of.”

Thor looked a little strained. “I’d like Loki to come as well.” He said, glancing at his brother. “If you wish to.” He added, directly to Loki.

“You are welcome, Loki.” Odin said at once. “If you choose to come, and your partner.”

Loki found his mind going automatically to the people of Asgard, to what they’d say if he came back with JimBob on his arm. The jokes, the cruelty, the looks of disgust.

He was surprised to find that the pain these thoughts usually caused him was not there. He felt nothing when he thought of them, of what they would think of him.

“I would love to come.” He said.

Let them talk. Loki of Midgard Did Not Give A Fuck.

 

End.


End file.
